About a week before my period I get swollen and my band gets tight. I have noticed it in the past, but since the weather has gotten warmer it seems to be worse. I have horrible and painful gas, and yesterday I was stricken with some serious acid reflux. Last night I woke up constantly coughing and choking on acid. It was miserable. I called the doctor this morning, and since I'm able to eat and drink without any problems (except for the reflux) they don't suspect a problem. I'm still losing weight, and everything feels fine otherwise, but PMS is not a good time for me. I cannot go in monthly to have this thing loosened, and the doctor called me in some Nexium for the reflux.
I guess I just feel really full because of the gas. I get hungry and I'll eat some and then I'm full. I'm hoping that the Nexium can give me some relief because this is pretty bad. I've been getting on all fours on the floor and letting my kids pat me on the back and burp me. I sound like a Harley down there, and yesterday I spit up. I told my son this was payback for all the spitting up he did as a baby. :b
Here's to hoping Nexium does the trick!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I DID IT!
When I thought that my scale was wrong, I was wrong.Which sucked. When I went to the doctor my old scale was right and I was in a losing slump. But when I got my last fill the weight started falling off like crazy. That being said...
When I started this whole thing, I had set my first goal. It wasn't to weigh 150lbs. I just wanted to be under a certain number by Jack's 6th birthday. His birthday is tomorrow and I am .5 pound under that number. So I'm curious to see how much I weigh in the morning. I had a wee ball game tonight and that's a work out on it's own, I was all over the place this weekend and it's paying off.
This is huge for me, because I have NEVER in my life met a weight loss goal. EVER. In the past I would have gained 10lbs rather than lose it. I feel like I can do anything right now.
Yesterday was Memorial Day, and I made a brisket and some apple dumplings and brownies. I love to cook, bake, etc. But I never really get to much anymore so when a holiday comes around I go hog wild. My brisket was so moist that it nearly melted in my mouth. I had a bite of the apple dumpling but it was so rich I couldn't eat more. I skipped the brownies. Which is bizarre for me.
I had a teaspoon of potato salad, a teaspoon of pasta salad, and I had a slice of brisket. Maybe an oz? Maybe less. I just know I wasn't able to sit still!
So I survived a holiday, I met my first goal, and I am feeling like a million bucks!
When I started this whole thing, I had set my first goal. It wasn't to weigh 150lbs. I just wanted to be under a certain number by Jack's 6th birthday. His birthday is tomorrow and I am .5 pound under that number. So I'm curious to see how much I weigh in the morning. I had a wee ball game tonight and that's a work out on it's own, I was all over the place this weekend and it's paying off.
This is huge for me, because I have NEVER in my life met a weight loss goal. EVER. In the past I would have gained 10lbs rather than lose it. I feel like I can do anything right now.
Yesterday was Memorial Day, and I made a brisket and some apple dumplings and brownies. I love to cook, bake, etc. But I never really get to much anymore so when a holiday comes around I go hog wild. My brisket was so moist that it nearly melted in my mouth. I had a bite of the apple dumpling but it was so rich I couldn't eat more. I skipped the brownies. Which is bizarre for me.
I had a teaspoon of potato salad, a teaspoon of pasta salad, and I had a slice of brisket. Maybe an oz? Maybe less. I just know I wasn't able to sit still!
So I survived a holiday, I met my first goal, and I am feeling like a million bucks!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Activity
I have found that I really want to be active right now. And by active I mean I want to play! I want to play baseball, run with the kids, play tag, just anything that has me out in the sun and moving. This isn't really my thing, I'm more of a sleeper by nature, but since the weight has started to really come off, I want to be doing something to the point that I fall into bed at night exhausted from the days activities. This is getting to be one of my very favorite things about losing weight, because my kids are loving it. They think it's cool that their mom wants to play like a kid with them. This was one of the reasons that I wanted to have the surgery, so that I can build memories with them, and I can do things with them. Exercise is absolutely essential to losing the weight, because the more active I am, the more it comes off. It's insane how fast I can lose when I do some sort of exercise.
I went to Jack's kindergarten graduation last week, and it was very apparent that I have lost weight. I was able to wear some pants that are two sizes smaller than what I wore last summer. I took pictures and I can see the weight loss so much in my face. I just keep looking at one picture in particular and focusing on how much healthier I look. And happier!
I set a goal for Jack's birthday. I wanted to be at a certain weight by his birthday and I am about a pound away from that goal. His birthday is next Wed. If I can make that goal then I have no doubt that I can reach my next goal!
I went to Jack's kindergarten graduation last week, and it was very apparent that I have lost weight. I was able to wear some pants that are two sizes smaller than what I wore last summer. I took pictures and I can see the weight loss so much in my face. I just keep looking at one picture in particular and focusing on how much healthier I look. And happier!
I set a goal for Jack's birthday. I wanted to be at a certain weight by his birthday and I am about a pound away from that goal. His birthday is next Wed. If I can make that goal then I have no doubt that I can reach my next goal!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Undergarments
I'm having some undergarment issues over here. I might need to invest in a 5 pack of Hanes Her Way's and quite frankly, a couple of smaller bras. My underwear hangs off of me like a dirty diaper. It twists up when I'm sleeping, if I suck in my tummy it falls down a little bit. I noticed yesterday that while my cup size is fine, my bra's do not come near fitting me. It's bizarre.
I'm so happy! Last night my pants were so huge on me that I had to keep pulling them up. It's like one day you wake up and suddenly you are being swallowed whole by your own clothing. I have some smaller things hidden in my closet that I'm considering pulling out tonight and seeing what happens. I've almost been afraid up to this point. I'm not ready to buy anything new at this point, simply because it's summer and I intend to spend the summer in tank tops and shorts and flip flops. And my bathing suit.
But yeah, I need to get some new things to cover my undercarriage today. I'm not ready to go to VS, but the 5 pack at Walmart will do just fine. And if I'm lucky, I might be able to get a bonus pair in there.
I'm so happy! Last night my pants were so huge on me that I had to keep pulling them up. It's like one day you wake up and suddenly you are being swallowed whole by your own clothing. I have some smaller things hidden in my closet that I'm considering pulling out tonight and seeing what happens. I've almost been afraid up to this point. I'm not ready to buy anything new at this point, simply because it's summer and I intend to spend the summer in tank tops and shorts and flip flops. And my bathing suit.
But yeah, I need to get some new things to cover my undercarriage today. I'm not ready to go to VS, but the 5 pack at Walmart will do just fine. And if I'm lucky, I might be able to get a bonus pair in there.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
A Year Ago
Last year on PTO fun day, I caught that glimpse of myself in the window. That was the day that my life changed.
Friday was PTO fun day, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. I nearly cried. I saw some pictures and I nearly cried. I realize I have a long way to go, but for the first time in my life, I can look back on a year ago and say that I DID do something about it. And I'm NOT the same person I was back then.
So many times in my life I've thought to myself "if I had stuck it out, I would have lost 50 lbs by now". This time I did it! I cannot begin to explain how amazing it feels to have followed through. That day I was also able to keep up with my kids, I had energy and stamina and I wasn't ashamed to be in front of a group of people teaching kids to play tee ball. I was able to stand up there in front of them, with confidence and faith in myself. I may not be thin yet, but I'm a hell of a lot closer today than I was a year ago.
Could I have done it alone and without my band? Maybe. But that's not the route I chose. I'm healthy, I'm happy, and I'm losing weight at a steady, healthy pace. Yeah there have been some hard times, but none so hard that I can even remember them specifically. But I can remember feeling embarassed and ashamed as clear as if it were yesterday. So I cannot even fathom what next years PTO fun day will be like for me. I may go in a bikini. My biggest worry may be a total and complete lack of a tan. I'm ok with that.
Friday was PTO fun day, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. I nearly cried. I saw some pictures and I nearly cried. I realize I have a long way to go, but for the first time in my life, I can look back on a year ago and say that I DID do something about it. And I'm NOT the same person I was back then.
So many times in my life I've thought to myself "if I had stuck it out, I would have lost 50 lbs by now". This time I did it! I cannot begin to explain how amazing it feels to have followed through. That day I was also able to keep up with my kids, I had energy and stamina and I wasn't ashamed to be in front of a group of people teaching kids to play tee ball. I was able to stand up there in front of them, with confidence and faith in myself. I may not be thin yet, but I'm a hell of a lot closer today than I was a year ago.
Could I have done it alone and without my band? Maybe. But that's not the route I chose. I'm healthy, I'm happy, and I'm losing weight at a steady, healthy pace. Yeah there have been some hard times, but none so hard that I can even remember them specifically. But I can remember feeling embarassed and ashamed as clear as if it were yesterday. So I cannot even fathom what next years PTO fun day will be like for me. I may go in a bikini. My biggest worry may be a total and complete lack of a tan. I'm ok with that.
Ooooh gas
Last Sunday I woke up feeling really full and bloated. I felt like I had just finished a huge Thanksgiving meal. I was miserable. I tried to have some breakfast and I couldn't get past a bite, and when I did eat it hurt like hell. I took some Gas-x because I was able to drink water, I wasn't nauseated or throwing up, just really full feeling.
I went to lunch on Monday with my mom and we went to a mexican restaurant. I had the insides of a chicken enchilada, the chicken is really moist and the pieces are small, and keeps me full. I also have rice with it. I can eat rice, some can't but I can. I took a bite and my stomach cramped like a beast. I didn't eat the rest of the day. I called my doctor on Tuesday because I was concerned, but they said to take Gas-X and stay on warm soup or liquids a couple of days to see if it passed. It got better, but not great.
On Friday I spent the day at my sons school, running the halls and then my daughter had tee ball practice that night. I was running, jumping, squatting, all the things I wouldn't have even considered doing a year ago. Have I mentioned that I LOVE this stinking band? Anyway, that night I went to my Nanas for dinner and they had those giant sub sandwiches. I took the insides out of a slice of the turkey and provolone sandwich and had that with some peeled grapes and banana slices. I did not have so much as a cramp. So I need to stay active!
I never really had gas up until last week. And I have to say that I felt so stinking good Friday night after all that activity that it has just encouraged my desire to get as much exercise in as possible. Swimming season is around the corner and with tee ball starting I'll have at least 2 good workout days a week and I can just walk the other days.
But...the interesting thing is...when I had my adjustment 2 weeks ago I got to the perfect spot. 10 days later I had dropped 8lbs. When this gas started up, I stalled. When I woke up on Saturday I had lost 2lbs. I have to eat or I simply do not lose weight. And I eat the protein first, then I have the veggies or fruit. I know that they say that and everyone knows it but it's so tempting to have the soft stuff first. I made my family pasta last week and I had the sauce with some ricotta cheese. It was really good. I made tacos last night and I had refried beans, with some cheese and guacamole. I didn't need the shell, it was good and beans are a wonderful source of protein. I used fat free beans and low fat cheese. But I went full Monty on the guac. It's how I roll.
My mother in law wanted to go to breakfast today. I told them that eating out was not really my bag, especially in the morning. So he took her and they had a nice time alone while I stayed here with my rugrats. Eating out use to be really fun. I use to love to go and talk and have fun, but now I would rather do something else. I can't think of what, but something that doesn't involve food. I'll go with my mom, or a friend, but it's mostly for the company. I always ask for a to go box as soon as the food gets there. Because before I have even begun everyone else is almost finished. My sister says I make her feel like a pig, I don't mean to but I cannot eat fast! The consequences are not just unhealthy but they HURT!
So, I'm happy to report that I am gassy no more. Or at least not as gassy. I've decided that gas is going to be an issue, but it will keep me active because I know that if I'm not, I'm going to hurt. And I really don't like to hurt!
I went to lunch on Monday with my mom and we went to a mexican restaurant. I had the insides of a chicken enchilada, the chicken is really moist and the pieces are small, and keeps me full. I also have rice with it. I can eat rice, some can't but I can. I took a bite and my stomach cramped like a beast. I didn't eat the rest of the day. I called my doctor on Tuesday because I was concerned, but they said to take Gas-X and stay on warm soup or liquids a couple of days to see if it passed. It got better, but not great.
On Friday I spent the day at my sons school, running the halls and then my daughter had tee ball practice that night. I was running, jumping, squatting, all the things I wouldn't have even considered doing a year ago. Have I mentioned that I LOVE this stinking band? Anyway, that night I went to my Nanas for dinner and they had those giant sub sandwiches. I took the insides out of a slice of the turkey and provolone sandwich and had that with some peeled grapes and banana slices. I did not have so much as a cramp. So I need to stay active!
I never really had gas up until last week. And I have to say that I felt so stinking good Friday night after all that activity that it has just encouraged my desire to get as much exercise in as possible. Swimming season is around the corner and with tee ball starting I'll have at least 2 good workout days a week and I can just walk the other days.
But...the interesting thing is...when I had my adjustment 2 weeks ago I got to the perfect spot. 10 days later I had dropped 8lbs. When this gas started up, I stalled. When I woke up on Saturday I had lost 2lbs. I have to eat or I simply do not lose weight. And I eat the protein first, then I have the veggies or fruit. I know that they say that and everyone knows it but it's so tempting to have the soft stuff first. I made my family pasta last week and I had the sauce with some ricotta cheese. It was really good. I made tacos last night and I had refried beans, with some cheese and guacamole. I didn't need the shell, it was good and beans are a wonderful source of protein. I used fat free beans and low fat cheese. But I went full Monty on the guac. It's how I roll.
My mother in law wanted to go to breakfast today. I told them that eating out was not really my bag, especially in the morning. So he took her and they had a nice time alone while I stayed here with my rugrats. Eating out use to be really fun. I use to love to go and talk and have fun, but now I would rather do something else. I can't think of what, but something that doesn't involve food. I'll go with my mom, or a friend, but it's mostly for the company. I always ask for a to go box as soon as the food gets there. Because before I have even begun everyone else is almost finished. My sister says I make her feel like a pig, I don't mean to but I cannot eat fast! The consequences are not just unhealthy but they HURT!
So, I'm happy to report that I am gassy no more. Or at least not as gassy. I've decided that gas is going to be an issue, but it will keep me active because I know that if I'm not, I'm going to hurt. And I really don't like to hurt!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
So This Is the Sweet Spot
I'm there. It's perfect. I don't get stuck, I don't choke, I don't slime, I don't PB (I didn't really do those things anyway, but I don't feel like I will). I can totally tell the difference between being full and being stuck.
I went to my doctor on Wed. and he gave me a tiny fill. Then he told me to focus on carbs, so I'm focusing on carbs. Since Wed I've lost 6lbs. I eat something every 3-4 hours and I don't go without eating. Yeah my meals take me a long time to eat, and it's usually cold halfway through, but who cares? If it becomes a problem I have a microwave. This is what I have been waiting for!
Don't ask me how much is in my band or how much my band holds, because I cannot remember to save my life. I never remember to ask, maybe because my doctor is a hottie and I'm so focused on making him giggle that I can't remember what I'm doing. That and I'm desperately trying to avoid any burping or God forbid other gas slippage.
I went to my doctor on Wed. and he gave me a tiny fill. Then he told me to focus on carbs, so I'm focusing on carbs. Since Wed I've lost 6lbs. I eat something every 3-4 hours and I don't go without eating. Yeah my meals take me a long time to eat, and it's usually cold halfway through, but who cares? If it becomes a problem I have a microwave. This is what I have been waiting for!
Don't ask me how much is in my band or how much my band holds, because I cannot remember to save my life. I never remember to ask, maybe because my doctor is a hottie and I'm so focused on making him giggle that I can't remember what I'm doing. That and I'm desperately trying to avoid any burping or God forbid other gas slippage.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Scale issues
I was getting pretty down. I felt like in spite of everything I was doing, I wasn't losing weight. My clothes were getting ridiculously too big, I wasn't eating hardly at all, and when I did I ate very little. Yet when I got on that stupid scale I weight 283 every stinking time. Since what? January?
So I bought a new scale. Just one of those cheap, old time scales with the little needle. And when I got on it, I weighed 260. Then I went to my Nanas and her scale said 260. I weighed my kids on both scales and they weighed the same on both. But I weighed on the old one, 283. Got on the new one, 260.
So, I've lost 20 lbs and didn't even know it. You can imagine how frustrated I was getting, going through all this and not losing.
I am going for a 3rd fill on Wed. I'm not sure if I need it or not, because I still get stuck if I even look at bread, crackers, stuff like that. To tell you the truth, eating is a pain in my neck. I don't want to do it, and I have to remind myself to do it most of the time. But if I don't eat, I don't lose. And I am guilty of the occasional Cheetos moment. I can eat popcorn at a movie, and I've drank diet coke but it doesn't taste good to me. I cannot drink water with meals and it's not an issue anymore. I made some chicken chow mein for my husband last Friday and it was wonderful. Fresh vegetables and chicken cooked in a wok. I had about 1/3 cup of rice, and maybe 1/2 cup of the chow mein. It took about 30 minutes or so to eat it and I was stuffed. But it was so healthy and I definitely am planning to make it at least once a week from now on. Yesterday I made some ribs, and roasted potato wedges. I think I was able to have about 2 of them and maybe an ounce of the ribs. Again, it took me about 30 minutes to eat it.
I'm still a work in progress. The old habits still creep up on me, especially when it comes to chocolate. Just plain old hershey chocolate. Nothing fancy. I don't polish off an entire easter bunny at once, and I think I do a pretty good job of watching my intake and not overdoing it. It's amazing how just sucking on a hershey kiss can fill that craving.
So, I'm down 50lbs pre pre-op diet. Not too shabby for less than 6mths. I still have a long way to go, but I'll get there.
So I bought a new scale. Just one of those cheap, old time scales with the little needle. And when I got on it, I weighed 260. Then I went to my Nanas and her scale said 260. I weighed my kids on both scales and they weighed the same on both. But I weighed on the old one, 283. Got on the new one, 260.
So, I've lost 20 lbs and didn't even know it. You can imagine how frustrated I was getting, going through all this and not losing.
I am going for a 3rd fill on Wed. I'm not sure if I need it or not, because I still get stuck if I even look at bread, crackers, stuff like that. To tell you the truth, eating is a pain in my neck. I don't want to do it, and I have to remind myself to do it most of the time. But if I don't eat, I don't lose. And I am guilty of the occasional Cheetos moment. I can eat popcorn at a movie, and I've drank diet coke but it doesn't taste good to me. I cannot drink water with meals and it's not an issue anymore. I made some chicken chow mein for my husband last Friday and it was wonderful. Fresh vegetables and chicken cooked in a wok. I had about 1/3 cup of rice, and maybe 1/2 cup of the chow mein. It took about 30 minutes or so to eat it and I was stuffed. But it was so healthy and I definitely am planning to make it at least once a week from now on. Yesterday I made some ribs, and roasted potato wedges. I think I was able to have about 2 of them and maybe an ounce of the ribs. Again, it took me about 30 minutes to eat it.
I'm still a work in progress. The old habits still creep up on me, especially when it comes to chocolate. Just plain old hershey chocolate. Nothing fancy. I don't polish off an entire easter bunny at once, and I think I do a pretty good job of watching my intake and not overdoing it. It's amazing how just sucking on a hershey kiss can fill that craving.
So, I'm down 50lbs pre pre-op diet. Not too shabby for less than 6mths. I still have a long way to go, but I'll get there.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Loooong update
It's been a while since I posted, things have been pretty boring. We went on vacation a couple of weeks ago, and to be honest, eating was a chore. We went to lunch at this place and I had some chicken. It was a very dry chicken, and it didn't sit well with me. I had spent my meal watching what I believed to be a hooker and a less than desirable looking gentlemen. He left, I assumed to go to the ATM, and I was waiting for him to come back. The chicken was coming up whether I saw the hooker leave or not, so I headed for the bathroom. When I came back they were gone. Don't ask me why I care, I'm a freakshow. I do believe that the band has naturally relaxed a little bit. I cancelled my fill last week because I feel like I'm in a good place. Some days I do fine, but then there are days that aren't so fine. Today was one of those.
I went to lunch today at Red Lobster. I had about half of my salad, and then I had six pretty small shrimp scampi's and six pretty small breaded shrimps and a baked potato. By small, I mean about 2/3 the size of your pinky. So it wasn't as if there was a ton of food there. But when you consider that I struggle with half of a burger, it was like gorging myself at a seafood festival. I didn't drink anything at all, (I have made that mistake in the past just because I was dying of thirst and it pretty much came right back up)but as I sat there, full as a tick, I had a feeling. I held my napkin in front of me, but then I knew that it was going to get ugly. Do not read further if you are weak stomached.
I went to the bathroom and the saliva was pouring. Then it was pretty much a free for all. It didn't hurt at all, but it wasn't fun. It was all my fault, and I wanted to kick my own butt, but that's pretty much impossible. I waited too long to eat, I was really hungry and I ate too fast, and too much.
I'm losing weight, I think I'm at about 35 lbs but to be honest the inches are just really coming off. I have to remember to eat, or else I don't lose at all. One day I think I had a banana and some oatmeal all day and I actually gained 2 lbs. It's weird. I'm weird. The whole thing is weird.
Things that are a problem for me: bread of any kind, tortillas, some pastas, french fries (THANK GOODNESS), cake is definitely a no go. Even birthday cake. It sticks like spackle. Brownies, cookies, etc.
Things that I wish were a problem because they go down waaaay to easily: movie popcorn, cheetos, my beloved chocolate. I just like plain old Hershey chocolate, and I sort of just suck on it until it melts away. Ice cream, which I've never been a big fan of. But once you've had a taste of chocolate mojito, there's no going back.
Things that I tend to eat regularly: bananas, oatmeal, cream of wheat, cottage cheese, cheese with turkey on very thin veggie crackers, soup (my beloved tomato soup), rice, chicken that has been cooked in the crockpot (it makes it so tender and easy to eat), some pastas, if they are cooked the right way. I also have mashed or baked potatos, beans, shrimp, salad. Nothing that is considered "roughage" bothers me at all. I love any and all veggies. I crave fruit. I love fruit. I'll have thinly sliced cheese and apples, grapes, bananas, plums, peaches. When we were on vacation we hit the deli for some fruits and cheeses and had them in our hotel room. The kids were digging it so now our fridge is stocked up!
I also keep those Special K bars in my purse just in case and I try to keep OJ around in case I get shaky. I still drink water with lime, and tons of it. I also have iced tea, unsweetened of course. We went to a movie this past weekend and I had a few drinks of a diet coke. Honestly, there was not a single side effect, but I've really lost the taste for soda. It's just sort of icky to me. Yea! I don't even drink juice, except for OJ.
I've been taking those vitamins from GNC and my hair isn't falling out as much. Also, my hair looks better than it has in years right now. It's very soft, and bouncy. It had looked so bad for so long. I don't think I'm getting enough protein in my diet, and I do think that my weight loss could be more substantial if I balanced my meals better and added that protein. I'm sort of sustaining on fruit and carbs. Not so good.
Emotionally, all is well. I've had no regrets whatsoever about the band. I look forward to more weight loss, and feeling better and better every day.
I went to lunch today at Red Lobster. I had about half of my salad, and then I had six pretty small shrimp scampi's and six pretty small breaded shrimps and a baked potato. By small, I mean about 2/3 the size of your pinky. So it wasn't as if there was a ton of food there. But when you consider that I struggle with half of a burger, it was like gorging myself at a seafood festival. I didn't drink anything at all, (I have made that mistake in the past just because I was dying of thirst and it pretty much came right back up)but as I sat there, full as a tick, I had a feeling. I held my napkin in front of me, but then I knew that it was going to get ugly. Do not read further if you are weak stomached.
I went to the bathroom and the saliva was pouring. Then it was pretty much a free for all. It didn't hurt at all, but it wasn't fun. It was all my fault, and I wanted to kick my own butt, but that's pretty much impossible. I waited too long to eat, I was really hungry and I ate too fast, and too much.
I'm losing weight, I think I'm at about 35 lbs but to be honest the inches are just really coming off. I have to remember to eat, or else I don't lose at all. One day I think I had a banana and some oatmeal all day and I actually gained 2 lbs. It's weird. I'm weird. The whole thing is weird.
Things that are a problem for me: bread of any kind, tortillas, some pastas, french fries (THANK GOODNESS), cake is definitely a no go. Even birthday cake. It sticks like spackle. Brownies, cookies, etc.
Things that I wish were a problem because they go down waaaay to easily: movie popcorn, cheetos, my beloved chocolate. I just like plain old Hershey chocolate, and I sort of just suck on it until it melts away. Ice cream, which I've never been a big fan of. But once you've had a taste of chocolate mojito, there's no going back.
Things that I tend to eat regularly: bananas, oatmeal, cream of wheat, cottage cheese, cheese with turkey on very thin veggie crackers, soup (my beloved tomato soup), rice, chicken that has been cooked in the crockpot (it makes it so tender and easy to eat), some pastas, if they are cooked the right way. I also have mashed or baked potatos, beans, shrimp, salad. Nothing that is considered "roughage" bothers me at all. I love any and all veggies. I crave fruit. I love fruit. I'll have thinly sliced cheese and apples, grapes, bananas, plums, peaches. When we were on vacation we hit the deli for some fruits and cheeses and had them in our hotel room. The kids were digging it so now our fridge is stocked up!
I also keep those Special K bars in my purse just in case and I try to keep OJ around in case I get shaky. I still drink water with lime, and tons of it. I also have iced tea, unsweetened of course. We went to a movie this past weekend and I had a few drinks of a diet coke. Honestly, there was not a single side effect, but I've really lost the taste for soda. It's just sort of icky to me. Yea! I don't even drink juice, except for OJ.
I've been taking those vitamins from GNC and my hair isn't falling out as much. Also, my hair looks better than it has in years right now. It's very soft, and bouncy. It had looked so bad for so long. I don't think I'm getting enough protein in my diet, and I do think that my weight loss could be more substantial if I balanced my meals better and added that protein. I'm sort of sustaining on fruit and carbs. Not so good.
Emotionally, all is well. I've had no regrets whatsoever about the band. I look forward to more weight loss, and feeling better and better every day.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Supplements
I went to GNC yesterday and got a stronger daily vitamin and some Biotin. It might not work with the hair thing, but it can't hurt. My hair really only seems to come out when I shower. And it actually seems to look better, more shiny and bouncy. I sort of think my image of the amount of hair coming out is like my image of the rat I once saw in my garage. That rat looked to be the size of a St. Bernard puppy when it ran from me. When it was dead it was about 1/4 that size. My husband said it's not much more than I usually shed.
I fully admit to not eating enough, but I eat what I can. Yesterday I had some grits for breakfast and then some soup and crackers for lunch. I had to go and take an exam, and then I stopped at Target to see if they had any portable DVD players for our trip next week. About halfway through my time there, I started to get weak, sweaty, dizzy. I went and got some protein bars and got out of there. I honestly thought I might not make it to the car. I sat in the car and ate one of the bars, and drank some water. I finally got some strength and was able to get home. I guess my blood sugar was down. I didn't eat anything for dinner, but I wasn't hungry.
So I just have to remind myself to eat something every few hours if I'm not going to be able to eat meals. I run around a lot, so it's not uncommon for me to just forget to eat, especially when I don't get hungry!
I fully admit to not eating enough, but I eat what I can. Yesterday I had some grits for breakfast and then some soup and crackers for lunch. I had to go and take an exam, and then I stopped at Target to see if they had any portable DVD players for our trip next week. About halfway through my time there, I started to get weak, sweaty, dizzy. I went and got some protein bars and got out of there. I honestly thought I might not make it to the car. I sat in the car and ate one of the bars, and drank some water. I finally got some strength and was able to get home. I guess my blood sugar was down. I didn't eat anything for dinner, but I wasn't hungry.
So I just have to remind myself to eat something every few hours if I'm not going to be able to eat meals. I run around a lot, so it's not uncommon for me to just forget to eat, especially when I don't get hungry!
Monday, March 9, 2009
My hair!
OK, so I knew it could happen. But today when I took a shower, and washed my hair, and pulled out handfulls I was still a little bit thrown. Right now it looks like someone shaved a bear in my bathtub. Fortunately I have a ton of hair, and once I dried it, it's not falling out. I'm rushing to GNC to get some biotin and some protein supplements.
I am losing weight. However, I'm barely eating. It's hard for me to believe that I'm full after a spoonful of mashed potatos and about an oz of roast. Forget bread, that ain't happenin'. I can tell you that the pain is excrutiating if the food gets stuck, and it is absolutely essential that I take the tiniest of bites and chew them until the food just disappears before I can swallow it.
Last week I went to the doctor because my back is out. I had gone about 10 days earlier and in that time I had lost 6lbs. I got a shot of cortisol and some other meds and that night I thought I was going to die. I can't remember what I ate, but it was something that didn't agree with me. I threw up, but then I had the worst pain you can imagine. I'm pretty sure it was gas, but I can't imagine something as simple as gas can cause that much pain! My poor husband was patting me on the back, and burping me! Excuse my frankness, but I was blowing it out both ends. This is not something I would normally do around my husband, and I think he was just happy to know I'm capable of it.
I needed to walk around, but my back was out and I was put on bedrest, so I was torn between staying in bed and walking around. Eventually the gas pain won over the back pain and I walked my back yard. Finally, I took the pain meds that the doctor gave me, and I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. I was sore as heck the next day, and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I've had a couple of instances this past week where things got stuck. I went on fluids and soup for a couple of days in order to let my tummy settle down.
I would say that the band is too tight, but I'm pretty sure that it's simply me not following directions like I should. Old habits are hard to break I suppose. But I'm working on it.
I am losing weight. However, I'm barely eating. It's hard for me to believe that I'm full after a spoonful of mashed potatos and about an oz of roast. Forget bread, that ain't happenin'. I can tell you that the pain is excrutiating if the food gets stuck, and it is absolutely essential that I take the tiniest of bites and chew them until the food just disappears before I can swallow it.
Last week I went to the doctor because my back is out. I had gone about 10 days earlier and in that time I had lost 6lbs. I got a shot of cortisol and some other meds and that night I thought I was going to die. I can't remember what I ate, but it was something that didn't agree with me. I threw up, but then I had the worst pain you can imagine. I'm pretty sure it was gas, but I can't imagine something as simple as gas can cause that much pain! My poor husband was patting me on the back, and burping me! Excuse my frankness, but I was blowing it out both ends. This is not something I would normally do around my husband, and I think he was just happy to know I'm capable of it.
I needed to walk around, but my back was out and I was put on bedrest, so I was torn between staying in bed and walking around. Eventually the gas pain won over the back pain and I walked my back yard. Finally, I took the pain meds that the doctor gave me, and I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. I was sore as heck the next day, and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I've had a couple of instances this past week where things got stuck. I went on fluids and soup for a couple of days in order to let my tummy settle down.
I would say that the band is too tight, but I'm pretty sure that it's simply me not following directions like I should. Old habits are hard to break I suppose. But I'm working on it.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I'm melting!
OK, I had strep throat and I was sick last week. But today I woke up and I've lost 10lbs since last week. To be honest, I have wondered if my band is too tight. But I am leaning towards thinking that it is where it is suppose to be and I just didn't expect so much restriction. I'm eating enough, I'm not hungry all the time, but I definitely get hungry when I haven't eaten in a few hours. I cannot eat certain things that I had heard were difficult to eat. Bread has it's moments, but it's not worth trying. I have no desire to drink with meals, in fact it is nearly impossible to do so. I did throw up twice last week, but I am almost sure it was because I was sick and I was taking the antibiotics on an empty stomach. I got stuck on a triscuit come to think of it. Triscuits are a definite no no. Chicken is easy for me to eat, I've heard some have had problems. Cookies, chips, etc. No go. Thank goodness because I heard that those are sometimes "slider" foods. Not for me. My birthday was Monday and I had a couple of tiny bites of my birthday cake but I started to feel like I was getting stuck. I'm definitely getting use to it.
Today I am going to lunch with my sister since I wasn't up for it on Monday. Going out to lunch, dinner, etc. is just not my thing now, and I use to love to do that, sit around and goof and laugh. Now it's just not something that I look forward to. I'm sure it will be fun because my sister is as fun as a hole in your pocket but the eating part is just uncomfortable. I feel so full that I can't breath after eating just a couple of bites.
So, the good news is that after nearly 3 months of not budging, I feel like I am literally melting over here. I'm dropping weight daily. It was worth it. I'm so motivated right now that it's ridiculous!
Today I am going to lunch with my sister since I wasn't up for it on Monday. Going out to lunch, dinner, etc. is just not my thing now, and I use to love to do that, sit around and goof and laugh. Now it's just not something that I look forward to. I'm sure it will be fun because my sister is as fun as a hole in your pocket but the eating part is just uncomfortable. I feel so full that I can't breath after eating just a couple of bites.
So, the good news is that after nearly 3 months of not budging, I feel like I am literally melting over here. I'm dropping weight daily. It was worth it. I'm so motivated right now that it's ridiculous!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I'm so full
I'm one week out, and while the band is certainly tighter, it seems to be relaxing a little bit. The first few days it was almost too tight! I'm eating small amounts, several times a day. For example, if I were to have a sandwhich, I would eat it in quarters over the course of a couple of hours. Food gets stuck very easily so I have to be very careful to chew chew chew. Getting stuck is positively miserable! I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Well, there was a girl I knew about 10 years ago that I would like to see go through it but aside from her.
I went to lunch with my sister, and I have found that eating out is so much cheaper. I always order a kids meal, and I always bring at least half of it home. My family is not liking it because I have no desire to cook because I'm never really hungry.
I'm having problems not sleeping at night though. I don't think it has anything to do with the band, it's just something that is happening and it's wearing me out. I can't imagine what things will be like on the 3rd fill. I'm weighing tomorrow, since it will be one week since the fill. Here's to hoping.
I went to lunch with my sister, and I have found that eating out is so much cheaper. I always order a kids meal, and I always bring at least half of it home. My family is not liking it because I have no desire to cook because I'm never really hungry.
I'm having problems not sleeping at night though. I don't think it has anything to do with the band, it's just something that is happening and it's wearing me out. I can't imagine what things will be like on the 3rd fill. I'm weighing tomorrow, since it will be one week since the fill. Here's to hoping.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Second Fill!
Today I went in for my second fill on my band. The first time I couldn't really tell anything, but this time it's very, very obvious. I took a drink after he filled it and I felt it stop, and then slowly trickle down. It's going down faster now, but it is insane how full I got at dinner!
The kids and I went with my mom and Nana to have Chinese. I ate 2 little slivers of broccoli beef, no broccoli. I had 1 little piece of some sort of chicken that wasn't breaded and 2 of those green beans. I love those. Oh and I had about 3 bites of rice. I was so full I felt miserable. This is what I have been waiting for! This is perfect.
When I weighed today at the docs I had only lost 3 lbs since my last appt. To be honest, I half expected to have gained. I feel very swollen and bloated and gross. But I wore some jeans from the back of my closet today that I haven't worn in a very long time. They were a little loose on me even. Whoo hoo!
I feel rejuvenated now after feeling a little down. So, on we go!
The kids and I went with my mom and Nana to have Chinese. I ate 2 little slivers of broccoli beef, no broccoli. I had 1 little piece of some sort of chicken that wasn't breaded and 2 of those green beans. I love those. Oh and I had about 3 bites of rice. I was so full I felt miserable. This is what I have been waiting for! This is perfect.
When I weighed today at the docs I had only lost 3 lbs since my last appt. To be honest, I half expected to have gained. I feel very swollen and bloated and gross. But I wore some jeans from the back of my closet today that I haven't worn in a very long time. They were a little loose on me even. Whoo hoo!
I feel rejuvenated now after feeling a little down. So, on we go!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Very frustrated!
I'm not losing weight. I've had the one fill back on Jan. 6th. I called the doctor because I didn't want to wait 6 weeks, and I had an appt yesterday. Unfortunately I got horribly sick on Monday night and couldn't get the fill. I didn't eat for 2 days and I didn't lose so much as an ounce. I'm going to buy new scales tomorrow because either my body is alien-like or my scale is broken. This is a little bit ridiculous. I hope I didn't go through all this for nothing. I keep telling myself it's only been a couple of months, but I feel like something should be happening.
When I got sick the other night it was worse than you can imagine. It hurt so bad, nothing came up, it was violent and painful. I had fever so I shook constantly. I woke up the next morning so sore in my stomach and my back that I could barely move. Throwing up with the band is so bad.
But when I called the doctor to reschedule, the nurse got on the phone and told me to come in and let them empty my band. I cannot count how many times I told her that there was nothing to take out. I was no longer throwing up or even nauseous at that point and I was an hour away. My kids were both sick with the same virus and I wasn't going to get them out. She got all over my case and asked me if I was really going to just blatantly ignore the doctors orders. I'm not happy with her, in fact if it weren't for my complete trust in my doctor, I would not put up with his staff in general. It just added to my frustration.
I have found myself back sliding at times. Not in major ways, I'm not by any means doing things that I did before, but I'm still struggling with some things. Tonight I had a hotdog with my husband (it's a long story on my other blog)and I mean after one of those I was stuffed like a turkey! So I definitely have restriction, but not like I need to start losing. I go in next week for fill #2 and I'm just going to try and stay positive and move forward!
When I got sick the other night it was worse than you can imagine. It hurt so bad, nothing came up, it was violent and painful. I had fever so I shook constantly. I woke up the next morning so sore in my stomach and my back that I could barely move. Throwing up with the band is so bad.
But when I called the doctor to reschedule, the nurse got on the phone and told me to come in and let them empty my band. I cannot count how many times I told her that there was nothing to take out. I was no longer throwing up or even nauseous at that point and I was an hour away. My kids were both sick with the same virus and I wasn't going to get them out. She got all over my case and asked me if I was really going to just blatantly ignore the doctors orders. I'm not happy with her, in fact if it weren't for my complete trust in my doctor, I would not put up with his staff in general. It just added to my frustration.
I have found myself back sliding at times. Not in major ways, I'm not by any means doing things that I did before, but I'm still struggling with some things. Tonight I had a hotdog with my husband (it's a long story on my other blog)and I mean after one of those I was stuffed like a turkey! So I definitely have restriction, but not like I need to start losing. I go in next week for fill #2 and I'm just going to try and stay positive and move forward!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
VISIT MY NEW BLOG!
I'm starting another blog that has nothing to do with my lapband surgery. Please feel free to come over and visit.
http://livingwithmel.blogspot.com/
http://livingwithmel.blogspot.com/
How to seduce your husband
Tonight we were getting ready to go out, and as usual we argued (playfully) about who keeps who waiting. I told him that if he was ready to go, out the door and waiting for me in the car, I would do things I haven't done since our wedding night. He got ready, got the kids ready, and came in and told me that he was ready to go.
I told him I would go and put a load of laundry in and do the dishes and meet him in the car. ZING!
Then he said "I'll take it". It went from my zing to his that damn fast.
I told him I would go and put a load of laundry in and do the dishes and meet him in the car. ZING!
Then he said "I'll take it". It went from my zing to his that damn fast.
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Chronicles of Nana...It'll do for now
This is our family motto courtesy of my fiesty Nana. This means that whatever we have to do to get something to work, or to get by, we will do. Or we'll do without if we don't like it. This is never a final nor a good solution. A perfect example of this is when my mother used a cattle ramp for a back porch. She needed something high enough to reach the back door of her $100k double wide back when she was smoking crack and thought that it was a good idea to spend $100k on a freaking double wide. Now she lives in a nice custom built ranch, that still needs a few finishing touches. But you know, it'll do for now.
My Nana is the queen of it'll do for now. She is also the duchess of "let's do it ourselves", and her royal highness of "I want to change the house". My Nanas house has been remodeled more often than Joan Rivers face. Nothing is as it was when she and my grandfather put the house out on their farm all those years ago. The house is nice, she has great ideas, but she has a lot of them. Recently, she decided that her kitchen isn't to her liking, so she wanted to remodel it. This requires the entire family to get over there and rig everything up so that it'll do for now. This past weekend, I went over there, and she mentioned that my uncle had rewired the kitchen. The only problem was that in order to use the microwave, you have to turn on the bathroom light. And she wasn't joking.
I would imagine that this weekend we will need to flush the toilet to use the can opener. You just never know with her.
My Nana is the queen of it'll do for now. She is also the duchess of "let's do it ourselves", and her royal highness of "I want to change the house". My Nanas house has been remodeled more often than Joan Rivers face. Nothing is as it was when she and my grandfather put the house out on their farm all those years ago. The house is nice, she has great ideas, but she has a lot of them. Recently, she decided that her kitchen isn't to her liking, so she wanted to remodel it. This requires the entire family to get over there and rig everything up so that it'll do for now. This past weekend, I went over there, and she mentioned that my uncle had rewired the kitchen. The only problem was that in order to use the microwave, you have to turn on the bathroom light. And she wasn't joking.
I would imagine that this weekend we will need to flush the toilet to use the can opener. You just never know with her.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I can't stay home
Today I was gone all day. Most days I'm out and about doing stuff. This past week I have been stuck in the house and I have snacked and grazed all day for 3 days. Today I was out and I completely forgot to eat. I had a grilled chicken wrap for lunch and then tonight realized I hadn't eaten since 2pm.
I have very little restriction, and I am going in a couple of weeks early to get another fill. I would say I'm going on about 50% willpower and I'm no good at willpower. If I was I wouldn't have ever needed the stinkin' surgery. I'm frustrated. At 8 weeks out, I've lost 25lbs. I haven't lost a pound in at least 3 weeks. However, I'm losing inches, and I can tell something is changing because of how my clothes fit. I just want to see something solid. I did see a picture of myself and I definitely saw a change. Which is bizarre because I saw one last week and I looked no different. Maybe it was bad lighting or angles or something. I don't know.
This is certainly slow. And I have been far from perfect. I haven't gone crazy but there are days that I don't do well at all. I struggle with not drinking while eating and I would say that continues to be my biggest challenge. I've gotten stuck twice since I had the band. The first time wasn't that memorable but the secone time. Holy monkey. I've never experienced anything like it, and I hope to never again. It was exactly like you read about, you are sitting there and BOOM a huge bubble of snot fills your mouth. It's nasty and it certainly keeps you honest.
But, I'm sure I'll get to where I need to be. They say it takes about 3 fills if you are lucky to get to the perfect fill. I've had one. And I'm 2 months out so I need to be patient and keep taking it one day at a time. I guess I thought by now I'd be done and would have already lost 100 lbs. I'm ridiculous. I know this. I can't help it.
I have very little restriction, and I am going in a couple of weeks early to get another fill. I would say I'm going on about 50% willpower and I'm no good at willpower. If I was I wouldn't have ever needed the stinkin' surgery. I'm frustrated. At 8 weeks out, I've lost 25lbs. I haven't lost a pound in at least 3 weeks. However, I'm losing inches, and I can tell something is changing because of how my clothes fit. I just want to see something solid. I did see a picture of myself and I definitely saw a change. Which is bizarre because I saw one last week and I looked no different. Maybe it was bad lighting or angles or something. I don't know.
This is certainly slow. And I have been far from perfect. I haven't gone crazy but there are days that I don't do well at all. I struggle with not drinking while eating and I would say that continues to be my biggest challenge. I've gotten stuck twice since I had the band. The first time wasn't that memorable but the secone time. Holy monkey. I've never experienced anything like it, and I hope to never again. It was exactly like you read about, you are sitting there and BOOM a huge bubble of snot fills your mouth. It's nasty and it certainly keeps you honest.
But, I'm sure I'll get to where I need to be. They say it takes about 3 fills if you are lucky to get to the perfect fill. I've had one. And I'm 2 months out so I need to be patient and keep taking it one day at a time. I guess I thought by now I'd be done and would have already lost 100 lbs. I'm ridiculous. I know this. I can't help it.
Todays mission...have fun
After three days in the house with a neurotic, annoying border collie, the kids and I were determined to get out of the house today regardless of ice, snow or alien. We were going to Nanas! We stopped and bought snacks to take to share with the cousins, and off we went. Yeah, I'm the dipwad that drives around with a block of ice on top of my car and gets the snog scared out of her when she stops and it all comes crashing onto the windshield. Later in the day I would get in my car, forgetting my windshield wipers on are and get sprayed with the snow that fell onto the windshield. I'm pretty, but I ain't smart.
It was divine. I sat in the house watching Green Acres, which is just hilarious to me because I know people that show was based on. In fact I'm related to some of them. I heard snowballs hitting Nanas house. Nanas house is older than the dirt it sits on and we try not to throw things at it. I got up long enough to put a stop to that. But only that long.
After a while, Aunt D came home and pulled the kids around the yard on a sled with her John Deere lawnmower that cost more than some people's trailer houses. It was quite a ride and they had a blast. My girl has missed tumbling for two weeks. Last week she was sick and this week the weather interferred. The flip factory had open gym tonight so I took both of them and let them run around like monkey's on crack and get rid of some of that energy. There was a coach there and so they did some serious trampoline time. I just sat back and watched, walked the mall a bit, let Coach Haley have fun with the kids for an hour. While this was going on, Aunt D got her Chrysler stuck in the snow and was doing donuts in the parking lot. I got my Chevy in and out just fine. Then again my Chevy is bigger, stronger and more badass than her Chrysler. I'm just sayin'...
On the way home, after 8pm, I stopped at McD's to get the kids a Happy Meal. I was in a hurry as crazy border collie had been home since 2pm in her little house. I usually never leave her longer than a couple of hours, and I don't dare leave her loose because she will quite literally eat my baseboards. She has some separation anxiety. She's just got problems.
Now my babies are passed out cold. Exhausted and happy because they had a great day. I'm just glad school is back in tomorrow. Mama needs a break!
It was divine. I sat in the house watching Green Acres, which is just hilarious to me because I know people that show was based on. In fact I'm related to some of them. I heard snowballs hitting Nanas house. Nanas house is older than the dirt it sits on and we try not to throw things at it. I got up long enough to put a stop to that. But only that long.
After a while, Aunt D came home and pulled the kids around the yard on a sled with her John Deere lawnmower that cost more than some people's trailer houses. It was quite a ride and they had a blast. My girl has missed tumbling for two weeks. Last week she was sick and this week the weather interferred. The flip factory had open gym tonight so I took both of them and let them run around like monkey's on crack and get rid of some of that energy. There was a coach there and so they did some serious trampoline time. I just sat back and watched, walked the mall a bit, let Coach Haley have fun with the kids for an hour. While this was going on, Aunt D got her Chrysler stuck in the snow and was doing donuts in the parking lot. I got my Chevy in and out just fine. Then again my Chevy is bigger, stronger and more badass than her Chrysler. I'm just sayin'...
On the way home, after 8pm, I stopped at McD's to get the kids a Happy Meal. I was in a hurry as crazy border collie had been home since 2pm in her little house. I usually never leave her longer than a couple of hours, and I don't dare leave her loose because she will quite literally eat my baseboards. She has some separation anxiety. She's just got problems.
Now my babies are passed out cold. Exhausted and happy because they had a great day. I'm just glad school is back in tomorrow. Mama needs a break!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Shut in log...day 3
School has been out for 3 days now and it looks like no school again tomorrow. We're iced in, shut down and things are getting ugly. I can hear them in the other room plotting. I heard something about ropes and "while she's sleeping". I am sure they have a plan for me, but I cannot begin to prepare myself for what it might be.
They watch me when I walk across the room, gauging my mood or maybe my reaction speed, I can't be sure. They pretend to be building with lego's but what I see could easily be a model, they are obviously much more intelligent than I give them credit for. Oh, they play dumb, act as if all they want is to play on the computer or with their Wii. But they do things to inevitably break me down. Knock on the doors and walls so that the dog will go ballistic and make me jump out of my skin. For this reason I am extremely nervous, as I may be sitting here minding my own business and out of nowhere it sound as if the hounds have been released. I've nearly wet myself twice today alone.
Monday was horrible. I took to my bed, cowering and in tears when the man came home. Yesterday their father was home, they were angels. Again, tactics that make me look as if I'm insane and imagining things. Today is a mixture of good and bad. Obviously trying to keep me off balance. I walked into the room and the whispers stop, their angelic faces look up at me as if to say "what mother? what is it you think we have done?". The occasional "I love you mommy, I really do" is thrown in to make me wonder if I am, indeed, going mad. But then I hear the Legos being dumped onto the hardwood floors, I hear them roll under the couch, something they know makes the veins in my forehead pulsate. I live in fear, I have the phone right beside me, 911 on speed dial. But the ice! What if no one can get to me because of the ice? I can't depend on the dog, the dog is in on it! I'm, done for.
No one believes me, but they will one day. When they find me in the closet, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears, listening to the dogs bark at the leaves blowing across the yard. Then they'll know, but by then it will be too late. By then, they will have won.
Shut in log...day 4...
They watch me when I walk across the room, gauging my mood or maybe my reaction speed, I can't be sure. They pretend to be building with lego's but what I see could easily be a model, they are obviously much more intelligent than I give them credit for. Oh, they play dumb, act as if all they want is to play on the computer or with their Wii. But they do things to inevitably break me down. Knock on the doors and walls so that the dog will go ballistic and make me jump out of my skin. For this reason I am extremely nervous, as I may be sitting here minding my own business and out of nowhere it sound as if the hounds have been released. I've nearly wet myself twice today alone.
Monday was horrible. I took to my bed, cowering and in tears when the man came home. Yesterday their father was home, they were angels. Again, tactics that make me look as if I'm insane and imagining things. Today is a mixture of good and bad. Obviously trying to keep me off balance. I walked into the room and the whispers stop, their angelic faces look up at me as if to say "what mother? what is it you think we have done?". The occasional "I love you mommy, I really do" is thrown in to make me wonder if I am, indeed, going mad. But then I hear the Legos being dumped onto the hardwood floors, I hear them roll under the couch, something they know makes the veins in my forehead pulsate. I live in fear, I have the phone right beside me, 911 on speed dial. But the ice! What if no one can get to me because of the ice? I can't depend on the dog, the dog is in on it! I'm, done for.
No one believes me, but they will one day. When they find me in the closet, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears, listening to the dogs bark at the leaves blowing across the yard. Then they'll know, but by then it will be too late. By then, they will have won.
Shut in log...day 4...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
ADS?
What's with these ads? I can't figure out where they came from, and I'm not techno savvy enough to know how to get rid of them!
Our pediatrician...we're doing great!
I have nothing new going on with the lapband. So I thought I would bore/entertain/whatever with a story.
I love our pediatrician. From the day our boy was born, we were terrified we were in over our heads (we still are) we would screw up (we have), he would get hurt (he has). Nearly six years later and he is still assuring us that we're "doing great".
When my boy was about 3 months old I guess, I was home alone with him and changing his diaper. I realized when I changed him that his little boom booms had gone missing. I immediately called Dr. W and said "I can't find J's testicles". He said to me "well, that's not good. Put him in a warm bath and see what happens". I hurried in and ran a warm bath and put the baby in there, as I reached down to wash his precious little rump, there they were! I had found them! I called Dr. W, he was right there waiting, I told him "I found J's testicles, they were in a warm bath". Dr. W said to me "that's great, I suspected you would find them there. See, you're doing great!". When I would take the boy for check ups, I would tell Dr. W all about my fears about him. How he seemed to be afraid of things that I felt he shouldn't be. I told him how I worried that his intense nature might be a sign of something more dire. Dr. W just told me "that's J. That's who he is, and he's fine. As he gets older these things will change and he'll become who he is suppose to become. Your job is to find a way to work WITH his little mannerisms. You're doing great!". So I did. I found a way to handle my son, and at the same time avoid changing the things that one day will be to his advantage. My son is one of the coolest kids you'll ever meet. Although he still flips his lid if he see's Kermit the Frog or any other muppet but we're working on it.
My girl is 4 yrs old and she has red hair and an attitude. She recently came down with staph. I took her to Dr. W. He wanted to see her tummy, where the staph was. She didn't want him to see it, and fought me like a little tiger to keep from doing so. I sat there in front of Dr. W, trying to reason with my child while attempting to pull up her sweater at the same time. I was very patient. Even when she popped me three times upside my head I maintained my cool. I told Dr. W that I was trying to be patient but I really, truly, wanted to pick her up and throw her across the room. He said that I was more patient than he would be. After he diagnosed her and told me what to do, I told him that I was having a bit of a problem with my girl. Everyday is something of a fight. It might be hair brushing, it might be getting dressed, it might be over a can of soup. The kid fights me on everything. Once again Dr.W told me "this is S. This is her personality, she is stubborn and she is determined. In 20 years this will be good, you need to find a way to work with her. Show her patience and she will learn patience. The last thing you want to do is teach this one aggression". Then he said to me "you're doing great!" And he was right! I figured out that my girl needs to do things herself. She puts her medicine on herself, she bathes herself, she needs to do it herself. Once I figured it out, things started flowing a little smoother around here.
Smoother is good. I would say we are indeed, doing great.
I love our pediatrician. From the day our boy was born, we were terrified we were in over our heads (we still are) we would screw up (we have), he would get hurt (he has). Nearly six years later and he is still assuring us that we're "doing great".
When my boy was about 3 months old I guess, I was home alone with him and changing his diaper. I realized when I changed him that his little boom booms had gone missing. I immediately called Dr. W and said "I can't find J's testicles". He said to me "well, that's not good. Put him in a warm bath and see what happens". I hurried in and ran a warm bath and put the baby in there, as I reached down to wash his precious little rump, there they were! I had found them! I called Dr. W, he was right there waiting, I told him "I found J's testicles, they were in a warm bath". Dr. W said to me "that's great, I suspected you would find them there. See, you're doing great!". When I would take the boy for check ups, I would tell Dr. W all about my fears about him. How he seemed to be afraid of things that I felt he shouldn't be. I told him how I worried that his intense nature might be a sign of something more dire. Dr. W just told me "that's J. That's who he is, and he's fine. As he gets older these things will change and he'll become who he is suppose to become. Your job is to find a way to work WITH his little mannerisms. You're doing great!". So I did. I found a way to handle my son, and at the same time avoid changing the things that one day will be to his advantage. My son is one of the coolest kids you'll ever meet. Although he still flips his lid if he see's Kermit the Frog or any other muppet but we're working on it.
My girl is 4 yrs old and she has red hair and an attitude. She recently came down with staph. I took her to Dr. W. He wanted to see her tummy, where the staph was. She didn't want him to see it, and fought me like a little tiger to keep from doing so. I sat there in front of Dr. W, trying to reason with my child while attempting to pull up her sweater at the same time. I was very patient. Even when she popped me three times upside my head I maintained my cool. I told Dr. W that I was trying to be patient but I really, truly, wanted to pick her up and throw her across the room. He said that I was more patient than he would be. After he diagnosed her and told me what to do, I told him that I was having a bit of a problem with my girl. Everyday is something of a fight. It might be hair brushing, it might be getting dressed, it might be over a can of soup. The kid fights me on everything. Once again Dr.W told me "this is S. This is her personality, she is stubborn and she is determined. In 20 years this will be good, you need to find a way to work with her. Show her patience and she will learn patience. The last thing you want to do is teach this one aggression". Then he said to me "you're doing great!" And he was right! I figured out that my girl needs to do things herself. She puts her medicine on herself, she bathes herself, she needs to do it herself. Once I figured it out, things started flowing a little smoother around here.
Smoother is good. I would say we are indeed, doing great.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The man
The man went to the doctor for a physical back in December because he wasn't looking or feeling so hot. His blood pressure was up, some of his bloodwork came back iffy and he was just a mess. Fast forward, THROUGH Christmas, and he goes back for a follow up yesterday. He had lost 9lbs, his blood pressure was perfect as was his bloodwork.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that he is doing better, but seriously? He loses 9lbs by just eating more vegetables and I have surgery and lose 5? Come on! What is the deal with that? I hate it, my dad is the same way, he can cut out one thing from his diet and drop like 20lbs in a week. It's so frustrating.
The man is a very, very laid back person. I've always thought it was cool how nothing ever really got to him. But since he started taking medicine for his blood pressure, he seems to have lost his ability to be cool.
He flies off the handle at the slightest thing. He actually nearly had a breakdown because the dogs were looking at him. He claims they always look at him, as if they want something and it drives him nuts. He also hates it when stuff falls. If he drops something the blood vessels in his forehead start to pulsate and his ears turn red. He reminds me of Yosemite Sam when he gets like this. I'm not making fun of him, I'm just sayin'...
Now, we discussed his recent change in personality, and I acknowledged that I am probably 99.9% of his problem because I'm sort of a pain in the ass. I mean I'm fun, I have my moments, but for the most part I'm a pain in the ass. I know this, and I know that he is a saint for putting up with me coming up on 9 years this March. Some things will change as I lose weight, I'll be happier so I won't be as bitchy. But I have to be honest here, I'm pretty set in my ways when it comes to certain things that seem to drive him up the wall. I WANT to change these things, but I don't see it happening if I'm being realistic. Because I can promise myself and him that I will be less of a pain until the cows come home and I will likely still be so, I encouraged him to try and manage his reactions to me rather than try to change me. I mean I have done that with his little things he does. However, I'm afraid that the only thing that will help him deal with my little things, might be medication.
But I am going to work on being aware of things that seem to get his chain rattled. None of these things are big things, just hitting the laundry basket, turning off lights when I leave a room, not erasing things from the DVR before he watches it or changing his recordings when he's at work. I will also be careful when I unwrap a piece of gum to not just toss it anywhere, and I will try to remember to put things back where I got them. I will not use his towel as a floor towel right before he takes a shower thus leaving him standing wet without a towel, I will not use his brush and leave it where the dog can get it. I will try not to leave the keys in the front door and then shut it and lock it so that when he comes home the house is locked with the keys in the door. I will also try to keep the dogs from looking at him. I have very little control over that last one, but it seems to be a big one for him. I'll try. That's all I can do.
Seriously, he lives in a frat house over here. God bless em'...
Now, don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that he is doing better, but seriously? He loses 9lbs by just eating more vegetables and I have surgery and lose 5? Come on! What is the deal with that? I hate it, my dad is the same way, he can cut out one thing from his diet and drop like 20lbs in a week. It's so frustrating.
The man is a very, very laid back person. I've always thought it was cool how nothing ever really got to him. But since he started taking medicine for his blood pressure, he seems to have lost his ability to be cool.
He flies off the handle at the slightest thing. He actually nearly had a breakdown because the dogs were looking at him. He claims they always look at him, as if they want something and it drives him nuts. He also hates it when stuff falls. If he drops something the blood vessels in his forehead start to pulsate and his ears turn red. He reminds me of Yosemite Sam when he gets like this. I'm not making fun of him, I'm just sayin'...
Now, we discussed his recent change in personality, and I acknowledged that I am probably 99.9% of his problem because I'm sort of a pain in the ass. I mean I'm fun, I have my moments, but for the most part I'm a pain in the ass. I know this, and I know that he is a saint for putting up with me coming up on 9 years this March. Some things will change as I lose weight, I'll be happier so I won't be as bitchy. But I have to be honest here, I'm pretty set in my ways when it comes to certain things that seem to drive him up the wall. I WANT to change these things, but I don't see it happening if I'm being realistic. Because I can promise myself and him that I will be less of a pain until the cows come home and I will likely still be so, I encouraged him to try and manage his reactions to me rather than try to change me. I mean I have done that with his little things he does. However, I'm afraid that the only thing that will help him deal with my little things, might be medication.
But I am going to work on being aware of things that seem to get his chain rattled. None of these things are big things, just hitting the laundry basket, turning off lights when I leave a room, not erasing things from the DVR before he watches it or changing his recordings when he's at work. I will also be careful when I unwrap a piece of gum to not just toss it anywhere, and I will try to remember to put things back where I got them. I will not use his towel as a floor towel right before he takes a shower thus leaving him standing wet without a towel, I will not use his brush and leave it where the dog can get it. I will try not to leave the keys in the front door and then shut it and lock it so that when he comes home the house is locked with the keys in the door. I will also try to keep the dogs from looking at him. I have very little control over that last one, but it seems to be a big one for him. I'll try. That's all I can do.
Seriously, he lives in a frat house over here. God bless em'...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Losing major inches
I weighed this morning, and the scale is showing nothing. However, I am now able to pull my smallest size jeans on and off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. My bras are huge and falling off of my shoulder, my boots are loose, and my shirts are hanging off of me. So what's the deal? I don't care if I weigh 500lbs as long as I can wear a size 10 kwim? Well and as long as I'm healthy. But still it would be nice to see something concrete like the scale moving.
I can totally feel my fill now. I get full so fast! I eat very little and I have no cravings at all, I literally eat when I remember. I went to lunch yesterday and barely got down half of my lunch before I felt it. I eat extremely slow, and I pay close attention to that first sensation of fullness. I would say that a normal meal would make about 2 or 3 (maybe more!) meals for me. Today I am a bundle of energy. I'm still dealing with the sinuses and the sore throat but there is nothing I can do but take a decongestant. I smell cigarette smoke all the time, even though there is none to be found. It's annoying.
My baby girl has a staph infection, and I'm a nervous mother. It's nothing major, but in these days of superbugs and MRSA, I'm not taking it lightly. She's not a medicine taker, so I'm having to sneak the antibiotics into various foods to get them down her. She's a strong girl. Yesterday my sister the nurse, my other sister and I all worked together to get this medicine down her. None of us are small women, and we're a strong people, but quite frankly she kicked our asses. She not only didn't get a drop down her, it was in her hair, our hair, the floor, etc. She's tiny but she's a badass. I've been tricking her by putting it in sherbet. So far so good, although she was slightly suspicious when I offered her sherbet for breakfast. Wish me luck on tonights dose.
We are also buying a new house. Which means we'll have two mortgages, which means we're total idiots. But, we're idiots who are living in a house that was fine when only two idiots lived in it, but now that we've had two kids and we somehow ended up with three dogs, we're a little bit crowded. Seriously, if you saw how crowded you would pass out. I'm ready to just get it done and get moved. I feel very claustrophobic in here. So wish me luck with that as well.
It's always something here at casa de' Mel.
I can totally feel my fill now. I get full so fast! I eat very little and I have no cravings at all, I literally eat when I remember. I went to lunch yesterday and barely got down half of my lunch before I felt it. I eat extremely slow, and I pay close attention to that first sensation of fullness. I would say that a normal meal would make about 2 or 3 (maybe more!) meals for me. Today I am a bundle of energy. I'm still dealing with the sinuses and the sore throat but there is nothing I can do but take a decongestant. I smell cigarette smoke all the time, even though there is none to be found. It's annoying.
My baby girl has a staph infection, and I'm a nervous mother. It's nothing major, but in these days of superbugs and MRSA, I'm not taking it lightly. She's not a medicine taker, so I'm having to sneak the antibiotics into various foods to get them down her. She's a strong girl. Yesterday my sister the nurse, my other sister and I all worked together to get this medicine down her. None of us are small women, and we're a strong people, but quite frankly she kicked our asses. She not only didn't get a drop down her, it was in her hair, our hair, the floor, etc. She's tiny but she's a badass. I've been tricking her by putting it in sherbet. So far so good, although she was slightly suspicious when I offered her sherbet for breakfast. Wish me luck on tonights dose.
We are also buying a new house. Which means we'll have two mortgages, which means we're total idiots. But, we're idiots who are living in a house that was fine when only two idiots lived in it, but now that we've had two kids and we somehow ended up with three dogs, we're a little bit crowded. Seriously, if you saw how crowded you would pass out. I'm ready to just get it done and get moved. I feel very claustrophobic in here. So wish me luck with that as well.
It's always something here at casa de' Mel.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Better today
Last night I went to dinner with some out of town relatives (free dinner!) and I noticed my fill big time. I didn't eat half of it and I was full as a tick. It was pretty much the first time I had eaten all day. Today I haven't eaten anything really, and I can't think of anything I want. But I do have a little bit of an empty tummy hiccup thing going on.
I'm still thrilled to have the band. My jeans fall down to my hips when I suck in my tummy, it's crazy. I can also tell my arms and legs are thinner as well as my face. I'm not sure about numbers, at the doctor last week I had lost 3lbs, I'm figuring around 25-27lbs. I'm trying not to weigh that often because the scale doesn't tell me as much as my clothes and my body tell me.
I'm still thrilled to have the band. My jeans fall down to my hips when I suck in my tummy, it's crazy. I can also tell my arms and legs are thinner as well as my face. I'm not sure about numbers, at the doctor last week I had lost 3lbs, I'm figuring around 25-27lbs. I'm trying not to weigh that often because the scale doesn't tell me as much as my clothes and my body tell me.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Having a hard time
I'm having a bit of a hard time. I'm hungry, I'm sure it's PMS related, but I'm definitely hungry. I'm trying to concentrate on eating slowly and waiting to see if I'm full, but I'm not. I feel like I need to eat something with substance, but I can't think of what. Meanwhile I'm nibbling here and there and I don't feel like that's a good thing.
I'm feeling very bloated and gross and sad, my fingers look like sausages today. Again, it could be PMS but still. I really thought that a fill would make all the difference. This process sometimes seems to take forever. I am also having a huge problem with not drinking water with my meals. It's kicking my butt. Again, psychological. I swear I feel like I'm going to die of thirst.
I cannot breath because I'm stuffed up. My throat and my ears hurt and I swear that I smell cigarette smoke constantly. I'm not anywhere near it, and no one else can smell it but I can and it's so strong that it makes my eyes water and burn. It's really getting to me for some reason. Just not a good day today.
I'm feeling very bloated and gross and sad, my fingers look like sausages today. Again, it could be PMS but still. I really thought that a fill would make all the difference. This process sometimes seems to take forever. I am also having a huge problem with not drinking water with my meals. It's kicking my butt. Again, psychological. I swear I feel like I'm going to die of thirst.
I cannot breath because I'm stuffed up. My throat and my ears hurt and I swear that I smell cigarette smoke constantly. I'm not anywhere near it, and no one else can smell it but I can and it's so strong that it makes my eyes water and burn. It's really getting to me for some reason. Just not a good day today.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Filled for 2 days now
Honestly, it's not that much of a difference. I think I have 4.5cc in a 14cc band. Like I said, the day of surgery I wasn't restricted but I was still too nervous to eat so I went to about week 3. Broth, liquids, etc. Yesterday I went to lunch with my friend and I ordered quesadillas. I took the chicken out of the tortilla and I ate it in small bites with the relish (carrots, onions, jalapenos). I only the filling out of 2 of the little triangles with some of the sour cream. I hated to do that because I usually eat low fat or fat free sour cream but hey, there it was. So basically I ate half of it, and I shared it with my daughter and then took the rest home. I could tell I got full faster, but I ate so slow and carefully that I was exhausted by the end of the meal. That little bit of food took me longer than it took my friend to finish her entire meal. For dinner last night I had some chicken salad. And that was pretty much it yesterday. Oh, I sucked on a fake Nutter Butter at my Nanas. I seriously took like 15 minutes to gnaw on that thing.
Today I had a scrambled egg and one sausage link for breakfast, and then for dinner tonight I'm not sure what I'm having. I'm really not hungry at all but I'm going to eat because if I don't I won't lose. So I'm not eating the same, but I would say it's 75% my own doing rather than the band. I know that as time goes by and I get more restriction I'll notice it more. I'm ok with it. I'm still so happy that I have this thing.
The other day I was driving and there was a commercial on the radio about lapband surgery. I smiled and thought to myself "I have that!"
Today I had a scrambled egg and one sausage link for breakfast, and then for dinner tonight I'm not sure what I'm having. I'm really not hungry at all but I'm going to eat because if I don't I won't lose. So I'm not eating the same, but I would say it's 75% my own doing rather than the band. I know that as time goes by and I get more restriction I'll notice it more. I'm ok with it. I'm still so happy that I have this thing.
The other day I was driving and there was a commercial on the radio about lapband surgery. I smiled and thought to myself "I have that!"
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I'm filled?
I went in this morning for my first fill. I didn't eat anything because I wasn't sure what to expect and I wasn't given any instructions. My appt. was at 11am. The whole thing took less than 5 minutes. I layed on my back, with my arms over my head, then he had me do a little bit of a stomach crunch and immediately found my port. Then he stuck this itty bitty needle in to numb things, I didn't feel the prick, but I felt the sting just a tiny bit. Maybe for 2 seconds. After that he put the saline in, and I was done. I got a band-aid, and drank some water and I was out the door. I mean it was easier than having blood drawn and less invasive than a finger prick.
I'm not restricted to liquids or anything. Afterwards we went to a restaurant and I had minestrone, minus the veggies, just the broth. I don't really notice much of a difference right now. I can definitely feel when I get full. I'm having so much trouble not having water with my meals. It's the worst part of the whole thing. I'm not sore at all, and there didn't seem to be any sort of repercussions of the throwing up.
So I go back in 6 weeks. I guess I had a 14cc band that was put in with 1cc of saline. Today I have 4.5cc's. I have no idea what any of that means but there it is.
I can't believe I was so afraid! I really think that my doctor is just amazing, that has to be why this whole thing has been so easy physically. Psychologically it's a roller coaster but as far as the physical stuff, it's a piece of cake.
I'm not restricted to liquids or anything. Afterwards we went to a restaurant and I had minestrone, minus the veggies, just the broth. I don't really notice much of a difference right now. I can definitely feel when I get full. I'm having so much trouble not having water with my meals. It's the worst part of the whole thing. I'm not sore at all, and there didn't seem to be any sort of repercussions of the throwing up.
So I go back in 6 weeks. I guess I had a 14cc band that was put in with 1cc of saline. Today I have 4.5cc's. I have no idea what any of that means but there it is.
I can't believe I was so afraid! I really think that my doctor is just amazing, that has to be why this whole thing has been so easy physically. Psychologically it's a roller coaster but as far as the physical stuff, it's a piece of cake.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I need a fill
I can't wait for Tuesday. I feel like I'm on a ledge with no rope over here. I'm not overdoing it, but it's by sheer will, and I'm also not making the best choices when I do eat. It's really hard to not go back to the old ways and go for it. My thoughts have gone from "ah, you're getting a fill in two days, have what you want one last time". That's pretty much saying eat what you want and start your diet tomorrow. I've done that for 30 stinkin' years.
I just need a fill. I sound like a junkie. That's nice.
I just need a fill. I sound like a junkie. That's nice.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year!
I was asleep at midnight. I'm a loser, I can't help it. The man and I went to dinner with some friends. I had 2 glasses of wine, and I was pretty loosey goosey by the time we left the restaurant. Then we went to the casino, which to tell you the truth I really just hate. It was so stinky and smokey and crowded. I didn't win anything as usual. I didn't lose anything either. I played Royal Reels, the only one I ever play. I limited myself to $20, and I managed to get it back and cashed out. I'm not a high roller, if I lose I get really bitchy and mean. I also don't like to see other people win, I'm bad like that. I'm not proud of it but there it is. The man however, took my $20 voucher and lost $10 of it which made me want to blow the place up as we drove away. I despise the casinos.
The thing about the casino is...there are some funky people in there. We have Indian casinos, not Vegas casinos. Around here there is one on every corner. There's no glitz and glamour, it's in the middle of Oklahoma, so it's not like there was anything really cool to see. But the people there are just weird. Some of them have little voodoo things to bring them luck, some of them watch every single machine around them, looking to see what's going on. I get it, I sat there hitting that button, and saying to myself, "this next pull it's gonna hit, I'm gonna win big". All the lights and the bells and whistles, it's very intoxicating. Then you look over to your right and you see some dude so convinced his next pull was gonna hit that he has managed to pee all over himself in order to avoid giving up his machine. That's just so...sad. I would make fun of them, but it's really not that far off from my relationship with food. Or how it was.
This last bite of chips will be my last. If I go ahead and finish up this chocolate then there won't be any tomorrow and I can quit then. I can't not go to dinner, it would be rude not to eat with everyone, and try to keep up with the people with speedy metabolisms who can eat like a horse and stay thin. That was the one that always got me. That was my one beer. I stood in the lobby while the man had the valet bring the car around, and I people watched. Which I love to do. There were all sorts. There were limos, party buses, and just carloads of people like us. It was fun, but I'm really a homebody at heart. So we went and picked the kids up at my mother in laws. They were all clean and spiffy in their pj's. We came home and we were all asleep right before midnight. I heard fireworks as my eyes opened and closed, my head pounding from just three glasses of wine. I woke up at some point in the middle of the night, and I thought about how I am usually so sad when the holiday season is over. And I thought about how I'm not sad this year, because this next year is going to be amazing.
Happy New Year!
The thing about the casino is...there are some funky people in there. We have Indian casinos, not Vegas casinos. Around here there is one on every corner. There's no glitz and glamour, it's in the middle of Oklahoma, so it's not like there was anything really cool to see. But the people there are just weird. Some of them have little voodoo things to bring them luck, some of them watch every single machine around them, looking to see what's going on. I get it, I sat there hitting that button, and saying to myself, "this next pull it's gonna hit, I'm gonna win big". All the lights and the bells and whistles, it's very intoxicating. Then you look over to your right and you see some dude so convinced his next pull was gonna hit that he has managed to pee all over himself in order to avoid giving up his machine. That's just so...sad. I would make fun of them, but it's really not that far off from my relationship with food. Or how it was.
This last bite of chips will be my last. If I go ahead and finish up this chocolate then there won't be any tomorrow and I can quit then. I can't not go to dinner, it would be rude not to eat with everyone, and try to keep up with the people with speedy metabolisms who can eat like a horse and stay thin. That was the one that always got me. That was my one beer. I stood in the lobby while the man had the valet bring the car around, and I people watched. Which I love to do. There were all sorts. There were limos, party buses, and just carloads of people like us. It was fun, but I'm really a homebody at heart. So we went and picked the kids up at my mother in laws. They were all clean and spiffy in their pj's. We came home and we were all asleep right before midnight. I heard fireworks as my eyes opened and closed, my head pounding from just three glasses of wine. I woke up at some point in the middle of the night, and I thought about how I am usually so sad when the holiday season is over. And I thought about how I'm not sad this year, because this next year is going to be amazing.
Happy New Year!
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