Happy New Year!

I was asleep at midnight. I'm a loser, I can't help it. The man and I went to dinner with some friends. I had 2 glasses of wine, and I was pretty loosey goosey by the time we left the restaurant. Then we went to the casino, which to tell you the truth I really just hate. It was so stinky and smokey and crowded. I didn't win anything as usual. I didn't lose anything either. I played Royal Reels, the only one I ever play. I limited myself to $20, and I managed to get it back and cashed out. I'm not a high roller, if I lose I get really bitchy and mean. I also don't like to see other people win, I'm bad like that. I'm not proud of it but there it is. The man however, took my $20 voucher and lost $10 of it which made me want to blow the place up as we drove away. I despise the casinos.

The thing about the casino is...there are some funky people in there. We have Indian casinos, not Vegas casinos. Around here there is one on every corner. There's no glitz and glamour, it's in the middle of Oklahoma, so it's not like there was anything really cool to see. But the people there are just weird. Some of them have little voodoo things to bring them luck, some of them watch every single machine around them, looking to see what's going on. I get it, I sat there hitting that button, and saying to myself, "this next pull it's gonna hit, I'm gonna win big". All the lights and the bells and whistles, it's very intoxicating. Then you look over to your right and you see some dude so convinced his next pull was gonna hit that he has managed to pee all over himself in order to avoid giving up his machine. That's just so...sad. I would make fun of them, but it's really not that far off from my relationship with food. Or how it was.

This last bite of chips will be my last. If I go ahead and finish up this chocolate then there won't be any tomorrow and I can quit then. I can't not go to dinner, it would be rude not to eat with everyone, and try to keep up with the people with speedy metabolisms who can eat like a horse and stay thin. That was the one that always got me. That was my one beer. I stood in the lobby while the man had the valet bring the car around, and I people watched. Which I love to do. There were all sorts. There were limos, party buses, and just carloads of people like us. It was fun, but I'm really a homebody at heart. So we went and picked the kids up at my mother in laws. They were all clean and spiffy in their pj's. We came home and we were all asleep right before midnight. I heard fireworks as my eyes opened and closed, my head pounding from just three glasses of wine. I woke up at some point in the middle of the night, and I thought about how I am usually so sad when the holiday season is over. And I thought about how I'm not sad this year, because this next year is going to be amazing.

Happy New Year!