I'm starting another blog that has nothing to do with my lapband surgery. Please feel free to come over and visit.
http://livingwithmel.blogspot.com/
Saturday, January 31, 2009
How to seduce your husband
Tonight we were getting ready to go out, and as usual we argued (playfully) about who keeps who waiting. I told him that if he was ready to go, out the door and waiting for me in the car, I would do things I haven't done since our wedding night. He got ready, got the kids ready, and came in and told me that he was ready to go.
I told him I would go and put a load of laundry in and do the dishes and meet him in the car. ZING!
Then he said "I'll take it". It went from my zing to his that damn fast.
I told him I would go and put a load of laundry in and do the dishes and meet him in the car. ZING!
Then he said "I'll take it". It went from my zing to his that damn fast.
Friday, January 30, 2009
The Chronicles of Nana...It'll do for now
This is our family motto courtesy of my fiesty Nana. This means that whatever we have to do to get something to work, or to get by, we will do. Or we'll do without if we don't like it. This is never a final nor a good solution. A perfect example of this is when my mother used a cattle ramp for a back porch. She needed something high enough to reach the back door of her $100k double wide back when she was smoking crack and thought that it was a good idea to spend $100k on a freaking double wide. Now she lives in a nice custom built ranch, that still needs a few finishing touches. But you know, it'll do for now.
My Nana is the queen of it'll do for now. She is also the duchess of "let's do it ourselves", and her royal highness of "I want to change the house". My Nanas house has been remodeled more often than Joan Rivers face. Nothing is as it was when she and my grandfather put the house out on their farm all those years ago. The house is nice, she has great ideas, but she has a lot of them. Recently, she decided that her kitchen isn't to her liking, so she wanted to remodel it. This requires the entire family to get over there and rig everything up so that it'll do for now. This past weekend, I went over there, and she mentioned that my uncle had rewired the kitchen. The only problem was that in order to use the microwave, you have to turn on the bathroom light. And she wasn't joking.
I would imagine that this weekend we will need to flush the toilet to use the can opener. You just never know with her.
My Nana is the queen of it'll do for now. She is also the duchess of "let's do it ourselves", and her royal highness of "I want to change the house". My Nanas house has been remodeled more often than Joan Rivers face. Nothing is as it was when she and my grandfather put the house out on their farm all those years ago. The house is nice, she has great ideas, but she has a lot of them. Recently, she decided that her kitchen isn't to her liking, so she wanted to remodel it. This requires the entire family to get over there and rig everything up so that it'll do for now. This past weekend, I went over there, and she mentioned that my uncle had rewired the kitchen. The only problem was that in order to use the microwave, you have to turn on the bathroom light. And she wasn't joking.
I would imagine that this weekend we will need to flush the toilet to use the can opener. You just never know with her.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I can't stay home
Today I was gone all day. Most days I'm out and about doing stuff. This past week I have been stuck in the house and I have snacked and grazed all day for 3 days. Today I was out and I completely forgot to eat. I had a grilled chicken wrap for lunch and then tonight realized I hadn't eaten since 2pm.
I have very little restriction, and I am going in a couple of weeks early to get another fill. I would say I'm going on about 50% willpower and I'm no good at willpower. If I was I wouldn't have ever needed the stinkin' surgery. I'm frustrated. At 8 weeks out, I've lost 25lbs. I haven't lost a pound in at least 3 weeks. However, I'm losing inches, and I can tell something is changing because of how my clothes fit. I just want to see something solid. I did see a picture of myself and I definitely saw a change. Which is bizarre because I saw one last week and I looked no different. Maybe it was bad lighting or angles or something. I don't know.
This is certainly slow. And I have been far from perfect. I haven't gone crazy but there are days that I don't do well at all. I struggle with not drinking while eating and I would say that continues to be my biggest challenge. I've gotten stuck twice since I had the band. The first time wasn't that memorable but the secone time. Holy monkey. I've never experienced anything like it, and I hope to never again. It was exactly like you read about, you are sitting there and BOOM a huge bubble of snot fills your mouth. It's nasty and it certainly keeps you honest.
But, I'm sure I'll get to where I need to be. They say it takes about 3 fills if you are lucky to get to the perfect fill. I've had one. And I'm 2 months out so I need to be patient and keep taking it one day at a time. I guess I thought by now I'd be done and would have already lost 100 lbs. I'm ridiculous. I know this. I can't help it.
I have very little restriction, and I am going in a couple of weeks early to get another fill. I would say I'm going on about 50% willpower and I'm no good at willpower. If I was I wouldn't have ever needed the stinkin' surgery. I'm frustrated. At 8 weeks out, I've lost 25lbs. I haven't lost a pound in at least 3 weeks. However, I'm losing inches, and I can tell something is changing because of how my clothes fit. I just want to see something solid. I did see a picture of myself and I definitely saw a change. Which is bizarre because I saw one last week and I looked no different. Maybe it was bad lighting or angles or something. I don't know.
This is certainly slow. And I have been far from perfect. I haven't gone crazy but there are days that I don't do well at all. I struggle with not drinking while eating and I would say that continues to be my biggest challenge. I've gotten stuck twice since I had the band. The first time wasn't that memorable but the secone time. Holy monkey. I've never experienced anything like it, and I hope to never again. It was exactly like you read about, you are sitting there and BOOM a huge bubble of snot fills your mouth. It's nasty and it certainly keeps you honest.
But, I'm sure I'll get to where I need to be. They say it takes about 3 fills if you are lucky to get to the perfect fill. I've had one. And I'm 2 months out so I need to be patient and keep taking it one day at a time. I guess I thought by now I'd be done and would have already lost 100 lbs. I'm ridiculous. I know this. I can't help it.
Todays mission...have fun
After three days in the house with a neurotic, annoying border collie, the kids and I were determined to get out of the house today regardless of ice, snow or alien. We were going to Nanas! We stopped and bought snacks to take to share with the cousins, and off we went. Yeah, I'm the dipwad that drives around with a block of ice on top of my car and gets the snog scared out of her when she stops and it all comes crashing onto the windshield. Later in the day I would get in my car, forgetting my windshield wipers on are and get sprayed with the snow that fell onto the windshield. I'm pretty, but I ain't smart.
It was divine. I sat in the house watching Green Acres, which is just hilarious to me because I know people that show was based on. In fact I'm related to some of them. I heard snowballs hitting Nanas house. Nanas house is older than the dirt it sits on and we try not to throw things at it. I got up long enough to put a stop to that. But only that long.
After a while, Aunt D came home and pulled the kids around the yard on a sled with her John Deere lawnmower that cost more than some people's trailer houses. It was quite a ride and they had a blast. My girl has missed tumbling for two weeks. Last week she was sick and this week the weather interferred. The flip factory had open gym tonight so I took both of them and let them run around like monkey's on crack and get rid of some of that energy. There was a coach there and so they did some serious trampoline time. I just sat back and watched, walked the mall a bit, let Coach Haley have fun with the kids for an hour. While this was going on, Aunt D got her Chrysler stuck in the snow and was doing donuts in the parking lot. I got my Chevy in and out just fine. Then again my Chevy is bigger, stronger and more badass than her Chrysler. I'm just sayin'...
On the way home, after 8pm, I stopped at McD's to get the kids a Happy Meal. I was in a hurry as crazy border collie had been home since 2pm in her little house. I usually never leave her longer than a couple of hours, and I don't dare leave her loose because she will quite literally eat my baseboards. She has some separation anxiety. She's just got problems.
Now my babies are passed out cold. Exhausted and happy because they had a great day. I'm just glad school is back in tomorrow. Mama needs a break!
It was divine. I sat in the house watching Green Acres, which is just hilarious to me because I know people that show was based on. In fact I'm related to some of them. I heard snowballs hitting Nanas house. Nanas house is older than the dirt it sits on and we try not to throw things at it. I got up long enough to put a stop to that. But only that long.
After a while, Aunt D came home and pulled the kids around the yard on a sled with her John Deere lawnmower that cost more than some people's trailer houses. It was quite a ride and they had a blast. My girl has missed tumbling for two weeks. Last week she was sick and this week the weather interferred. The flip factory had open gym tonight so I took both of them and let them run around like monkey's on crack and get rid of some of that energy. There was a coach there and so they did some serious trampoline time. I just sat back and watched, walked the mall a bit, let Coach Haley have fun with the kids for an hour. While this was going on, Aunt D got her Chrysler stuck in the snow and was doing donuts in the parking lot. I got my Chevy in and out just fine. Then again my Chevy is bigger, stronger and more badass than her Chrysler. I'm just sayin'...
On the way home, after 8pm, I stopped at McD's to get the kids a Happy Meal. I was in a hurry as crazy border collie had been home since 2pm in her little house. I usually never leave her longer than a couple of hours, and I don't dare leave her loose because she will quite literally eat my baseboards. She has some separation anxiety. She's just got problems.
Now my babies are passed out cold. Exhausted and happy because they had a great day. I'm just glad school is back in tomorrow. Mama needs a break!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Shut in log...day 3
School has been out for 3 days now and it looks like no school again tomorrow. We're iced in, shut down and things are getting ugly. I can hear them in the other room plotting. I heard something about ropes and "while she's sleeping". I am sure they have a plan for me, but I cannot begin to prepare myself for what it might be.
They watch me when I walk across the room, gauging my mood or maybe my reaction speed, I can't be sure. They pretend to be building with lego's but what I see could easily be a model, they are obviously much more intelligent than I give them credit for. Oh, they play dumb, act as if all they want is to play on the computer or with their Wii. But they do things to inevitably break me down. Knock on the doors and walls so that the dog will go ballistic and make me jump out of my skin. For this reason I am extremely nervous, as I may be sitting here minding my own business and out of nowhere it sound as if the hounds have been released. I've nearly wet myself twice today alone.
Monday was horrible. I took to my bed, cowering and in tears when the man came home. Yesterday their father was home, they were angels. Again, tactics that make me look as if I'm insane and imagining things. Today is a mixture of good and bad. Obviously trying to keep me off balance. I walked into the room and the whispers stop, their angelic faces look up at me as if to say "what mother? what is it you think we have done?". The occasional "I love you mommy, I really do" is thrown in to make me wonder if I am, indeed, going mad. But then I hear the Legos being dumped onto the hardwood floors, I hear them roll under the couch, something they know makes the veins in my forehead pulsate. I live in fear, I have the phone right beside me, 911 on speed dial. But the ice! What if no one can get to me because of the ice? I can't depend on the dog, the dog is in on it! I'm, done for.
No one believes me, but they will one day. When they find me in the closet, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears, listening to the dogs bark at the leaves blowing across the yard. Then they'll know, but by then it will be too late. By then, they will have won.
Shut in log...day 4...
They watch me when I walk across the room, gauging my mood or maybe my reaction speed, I can't be sure. They pretend to be building with lego's but what I see could easily be a model, they are obviously much more intelligent than I give them credit for. Oh, they play dumb, act as if all they want is to play on the computer or with their Wii. But they do things to inevitably break me down. Knock on the doors and walls so that the dog will go ballistic and make me jump out of my skin. For this reason I am extremely nervous, as I may be sitting here minding my own business and out of nowhere it sound as if the hounds have been released. I've nearly wet myself twice today alone.
Monday was horrible. I took to my bed, cowering and in tears when the man came home. Yesterday their father was home, they were angels. Again, tactics that make me look as if I'm insane and imagining things. Today is a mixture of good and bad. Obviously trying to keep me off balance. I walked into the room and the whispers stop, their angelic faces look up at me as if to say "what mother? what is it you think we have done?". The occasional "I love you mommy, I really do" is thrown in to make me wonder if I am, indeed, going mad. But then I hear the Legos being dumped onto the hardwood floors, I hear them roll under the couch, something they know makes the veins in my forehead pulsate. I live in fear, I have the phone right beside me, 911 on speed dial. But the ice! What if no one can get to me because of the ice? I can't depend on the dog, the dog is in on it! I'm, done for.
No one believes me, but they will one day. When they find me in the closet, rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears, listening to the dogs bark at the leaves blowing across the yard. Then they'll know, but by then it will be too late. By then, they will have won.
Shut in log...day 4...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
ADS?
What's with these ads? I can't figure out where they came from, and I'm not techno savvy enough to know how to get rid of them!
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