Last year on PTO fun day, I caught that glimpse of myself in the window. That was the day that my life changed.
Friday was PTO fun day, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the window. I nearly cried. I saw some pictures and I nearly cried. I realize I have a long way to go, but for the first time in my life, I can look back on a year ago and say that I DID do something about it. And I'm NOT the same person I was back then.
So many times in my life I've thought to myself "if I had stuck it out, I would have lost 50 lbs by now". This time I did it! I cannot begin to explain how amazing it feels to have followed through. That day I was also able to keep up with my kids, I had energy and stamina and I wasn't ashamed to be in front of a group of people teaching kids to play tee ball. I was able to stand up there in front of them, with confidence and faith in myself. I may not be thin yet, but I'm a hell of a lot closer today than I was a year ago.
Could I have done it alone and without my band? Maybe. But that's not the route I chose. I'm healthy, I'm happy, and I'm losing weight at a steady, healthy pace. Yeah there have been some hard times, but none so hard that I can even remember them specifically. But I can remember feeling embarassed and ashamed as clear as if it were yesterday. So I cannot even fathom what next years PTO fun day will be like for me. I may go in a bikini. My biggest worry may be a total and complete lack of a tan. I'm ok with that.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Ooooh gas
Last Sunday I woke up feeling really full and bloated. I felt like I had just finished a huge Thanksgiving meal. I was miserable. I tried to have some breakfast and I couldn't get past a bite, and when I did eat it hurt like hell. I took some Gas-x because I was able to drink water, I wasn't nauseated or throwing up, just really full feeling.
I went to lunch on Monday with my mom and we went to a mexican restaurant. I had the insides of a chicken enchilada, the chicken is really moist and the pieces are small, and keeps me full. I also have rice with it. I can eat rice, some can't but I can. I took a bite and my stomach cramped like a beast. I didn't eat the rest of the day. I called my doctor on Tuesday because I was concerned, but they said to take Gas-X and stay on warm soup or liquids a couple of days to see if it passed. It got better, but not great.
On Friday I spent the day at my sons school, running the halls and then my daughter had tee ball practice that night. I was running, jumping, squatting, all the things I wouldn't have even considered doing a year ago. Have I mentioned that I LOVE this stinking band? Anyway, that night I went to my Nanas for dinner and they had those giant sub sandwiches. I took the insides out of a slice of the turkey and provolone sandwich and had that with some peeled grapes and banana slices. I did not have so much as a cramp. So I need to stay active!
I never really had gas up until last week. And I have to say that I felt so stinking good Friday night after all that activity that it has just encouraged my desire to get as much exercise in as possible. Swimming season is around the corner and with tee ball starting I'll have at least 2 good workout days a week and I can just walk the other days.
But...the interesting thing is...when I had my adjustment 2 weeks ago I got to the perfect spot. 10 days later I had dropped 8lbs. When this gas started up, I stalled. When I woke up on Saturday I had lost 2lbs. I have to eat or I simply do not lose weight. And I eat the protein first, then I have the veggies or fruit. I know that they say that and everyone knows it but it's so tempting to have the soft stuff first. I made my family pasta last week and I had the sauce with some ricotta cheese. It was really good. I made tacos last night and I had refried beans, with some cheese and guacamole. I didn't need the shell, it was good and beans are a wonderful source of protein. I used fat free beans and low fat cheese. But I went full Monty on the guac. It's how I roll.
My mother in law wanted to go to breakfast today. I told them that eating out was not really my bag, especially in the morning. So he took her and they had a nice time alone while I stayed here with my rugrats. Eating out use to be really fun. I use to love to go and talk and have fun, but now I would rather do something else. I can't think of what, but something that doesn't involve food. I'll go with my mom, or a friend, but it's mostly for the company. I always ask for a to go box as soon as the food gets there. Because before I have even begun everyone else is almost finished. My sister says I make her feel like a pig, I don't mean to but I cannot eat fast! The consequences are not just unhealthy but they HURT!
So, I'm happy to report that I am gassy no more. Or at least not as gassy. I've decided that gas is going to be an issue, but it will keep me active because I know that if I'm not, I'm going to hurt. And I really don't like to hurt!
I went to lunch on Monday with my mom and we went to a mexican restaurant. I had the insides of a chicken enchilada, the chicken is really moist and the pieces are small, and keeps me full. I also have rice with it. I can eat rice, some can't but I can. I took a bite and my stomach cramped like a beast. I didn't eat the rest of the day. I called my doctor on Tuesday because I was concerned, but they said to take Gas-X and stay on warm soup or liquids a couple of days to see if it passed. It got better, but not great.
On Friday I spent the day at my sons school, running the halls and then my daughter had tee ball practice that night. I was running, jumping, squatting, all the things I wouldn't have even considered doing a year ago. Have I mentioned that I LOVE this stinking band? Anyway, that night I went to my Nanas for dinner and they had those giant sub sandwiches. I took the insides out of a slice of the turkey and provolone sandwich and had that with some peeled grapes and banana slices. I did not have so much as a cramp. So I need to stay active!
I never really had gas up until last week. And I have to say that I felt so stinking good Friday night after all that activity that it has just encouraged my desire to get as much exercise in as possible. Swimming season is around the corner and with tee ball starting I'll have at least 2 good workout days a week and I can just walk the other days.
But...the interesting thing is...when I had my adjustment 2 weeks ago I got to the perfect spot. 10 days later I had dropped 8lbs. When this gas started up, I stalled. When I woke up on Saturday I had lost 2lbs. I have to eat or I simply do not lose weight. And I eat the protein first, then I have the veggies or fruit. I know that they say that and everyone knows it but it's so tempting to have the soft stuff first. I made my family pasta last week and I had the sauce with some ricotta cheese. It was really good. I made tacos last night and I had refried beans, with some cheese and guacamole. I didn't need the shell, it was good and beans are a wonderful source of protein. I used fat free beans and low fat cheese. But I went full Monty on the guac. It's how I roll.
My mother in law wanted to go to breakfast today. I told them that eating out was not really my bag, especially in the morning. So he took her and they had a nice time alone while I stayed here with my rugrats. Eating out use to be really fun. I use to love to go and talk and have fun, but now I would rather do something else. I can't think of what, but something that doesn't involve food. I'll go with my mom, or a friend, but it's mostly for the company. I always ask for a to go box as soon as the food gets there. Because before I have even begun everyone else is almost finished. My sister says I make her feel like a pig, I don't mean to but I cannot eat fast! The consequences are not just unhealthy but they HURT!
So, I'm happy to report that I am gassy no more. Or at least not as gassy. I've decided that gas is going to be an issue, but it will keep me active because I know that if I'm not, I'm going to hurt. And I really don't like to hurt!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
So This Is the Sweet Spot
I'm there. It's perfect. I don't get stuck, I don't choke, I don't slime, I don't PB (I didn't really do those things anyway, but I don't feel like I will). I can totally tell the difference between being full and being stuck.
I went to my doctor on Wed. and he gave me a tiny fill. Then he told me to focus on carbs, so I'm focusing on carbs. Since Wed I've lost 6lbs. I eat something every 3-4 hours and I don't go without eating. Yeah my meals take me a long time to eat, and it's usually cold halfway through, but who cares? If it becomes a problem I have a microwave. This is what I have been waiting for!
Don't ask me how much is in my band or how much my band holds, because I cannot remember to save my life. I never remember to ask, maybe because my doctor is a hottie and I'm so focused on making him giggle that I can't remember what I'm doing. That and I'm desperately trying to avoid any burping or God forbid other gas slippage.
I went to my doctor on Wed. and he gave me a tiny fill. Then he told me to focus on carbs, so I'm focusing on carbs. Since Wed I've lost 6lbs. I eat something every 3-4 hours and I don't go without eating. Yeah my meals take me a long time to eat, and it's usually cold halfway through, but who cares? If it becomes a problem I have a microwave. This is what I have been waiting for!
Don't ask me how much is in my band or how much my band holds, because I cannot remember to save my life. I never remember to ask, maybe because my doctor is a hottie and I'm so focused on making him giggle that I can't remember what I'm doing. That and I'm desperately trying to avoid any burping or God forbid other gas slippage.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Scale issues
I was getting pretty down. I felt like in spite of everything I was doing, I wasn't losing weight. My clothes were getting ridiculously too big, I wasn't eating hardly at all, and when I did I ate very little. Yet when I got on that stupid scale I weight 283 every stinking time. Since what? January?
So I bought a new scale. Just one of those cheap, old time scales with the little needle. And when I got on it, I weighed 260. Then I went to my Nanas and her scale said 260. I weighed my kids on both scales and they weighed the same on both. But I weighed on the old one, 283. Got on the new one, 260.
So, I've lost 20 lbs and didn't even know it. You can imagine how frustrated I was getting, going through all this and not losing.
I am going for a 3rd fill on Wed. I'm not sure if I need it or not, because I still get stuck if I even look at bread, crackers, stuff like that. To tell you the truth, eating is a pain in my neck. I don't want to do it, and I have to remind myself to do it most of the time. But if I don't eat, I don't lose. And I am guilty of the occasional Cheetos moment. I can eat popcorn at a movie, and I've drank diet coke but it doesn't taste good to me. I cannot drink water with meals and it's not an issue anymore. I made some chicken chow mein for my husband last Friday and it was wonderful. Fresh vegetables and chicken cooked in a wok. I had about 1/3 cup of rice, and maybe 1/2 cup of the chow mein. It took about 30 minutes or so to eat it and I was stuffed. But it was so healthy and I definitely am planning to make it at least once a week from now on. Yesterday I made some ribs, and roasted potato wedges. I think I was able to have about 2 of them and maybe an ounce of the ribs. Again, it took me about 30 minutes to eat it.
I'm still a work in progress. The old habits still creep up on me, especially when it comes to chocolate. Just plain old hershey chocolate. Nothing fancy. I don't polish off an entire easter bunny at once, and I think I do a pretty good job of watching my intake and not overdoing it. It's amazing how just sucking on a hershey kiss can fill that craving.
So, I'm down 50lbs pre pre-op diet. Not too shabby for less than 6mths. I still have a long way to go, but I'll get there.
So I bought a new scale. Just one of those cheap, old time scales with the little needle. And when I got on it, I weighed 260. Then I went to my Nanas and her scale said 260. I weighed my kids on both scales and they weighed the same on both. But I weighed on the old one, 283. Got on the new one, 260.
So, I've lost 20 lbs and didn't even know it. You can imagine how frustrated I was getting, going through all this and not losing.
I am going for a 3rd fill on Wed. I'm not sure if I need it or not, because I still get stuck if I even look at bread, crackers, stuff like that. To tell you the truth, eating is a pain in my neck. I don't want to do it, and I have to remind myself to do it most of the time. But if I don't eat, I don't lose. And I am guilty of the occasional Cheetos moment. I can eat popcorn at a movie, and I've drank diet coke but it doesn't taste good to me. I cannot drink water with meals and it's not an issue anymore. I made some chicken chow mein for my husband last Friday and it was wonderful. Fresh vegetables and chicken cooked in a wok. I had about 1/3 cup of rice, and maybe 1/2 cup of the chow mein. It took about 30 minutes or so to eat it and I was stuffed. But it was so healthy and I definitely am planning to make it at least once a week from now on. Yesterday I made some ribs, and roasted potato wedges. I think I was able to have about 2 of them and maybe an ounce of the ribs. Again, it took me about 30 minutes to eat it.
I'm still a work in progress. The old habits still creep up on me, especially when it comes to chocolate. Just plain old hershey chocolate. Nothing fancy. I don't polish off an entire easter bunny at once, and I think I do a pretty good job of watching my intake and not overdoing it. It's amazing how just sucking on a hershey kiss can fill that craving.
So, I'm down 50lbs pre pre-op diet. Not too shabby for less than 6mths. I still have a long way to go, but I'll get there.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Loooong update
It's been a while since I posted, things have been pretty boring. We went on vacation a couple of weeks ago, and to be honest, eating was a chore. We went to lunch at this place and I had some chicken. It was a very dry chicken, and it didn't sit well with me. I had spent my meal watching what I believed to be a hooker and a less than desirable looking gentlemen. He left, I assumed to go to the ATM, and I was waiting for him to come back. The chicken was coming up whether I saw the hooker leave or not, so I headed for the bathroom. When I came back they were gone. Don't ask me why I care, I'm a freakshow. I do believe that the band has naturally relaxed a little bit. I cancelled my fill last week because I feel like I'm in a good place. Some days I do fine, but then there are days that aren't so fine. Today was one of those.
I went to lunch today at Red Lobster. I had about half of my salad, and then I had six pretty small shrimp scampi's and six pretty small breaded shrimps and a baked potato. By small, I mean about 2/3 the size of your pinky. So it wasn't as if there was a ton of food there. But when you consider that I struggle with half of a burger, it was like gorging myself at a seafood festival. I didn't drink anything at all, (I have made that mistake in the past just because I was dying of thirst and it pretty much came right back up)but as I sat there, full as a tick, I had a feeling. I held my napkin in front of me, but then I knew that it was going to get ugly. Do not read further if you are weak stomached.
I went to the bathroom and the saliva was pouring. Then it was pretty much a free for all. It didn't hurt at all, but it wasn't fun. It was all my fault, and I wanted to kick my own butt, but that's pretty much impossible. I waited too long to eat, I was really hungry and I ate too fast, and too much.
I'm losing weight, I think I'm at about 35 lbs but to be honest the inches are just really coming off. I have to remember to eat, or else I don't lose at all. One day I think I had a banana and some oatmeal all day and I actually gained 2 lbs. It's weird. I'm weird. The whole thing is weird.
Things that are a problem for me: bread of any kind, tortillas, some pastas, french fries (THANK GOODNESS), cake is definitely a no go. Even birthday cake. It sticks like spackle. Brownies, cookies, etc.
Things that I wish were a problem because they go down waaaay to easily: movie popcorn, cheetos, my beloved chocolate. I just like plain old Hershey chocolate, and I sort of just suck on it until it melts away. Ice cream, which I've never been a big fan of. But once you've had a taste of chocolate mojito, there's no going back.
Things that I tend to eat regularly: bananas, oatmeal, cream of wheat, cottage cheese, cheese with turkey on very thin veggie crackers, soup (my beloved tomato soup), rice, chicken that has been cooked in the crockpot (it makes it so tender and easy to eat), some pastas, if they are cooked the right way. I also have mashed or baked potatos, beans, shrimp, salad. Nothing that is considered "roughage" bothers me at all. I love any and all veggies. I crave fruit. I love fruit. I'll have thinly sliced cheese and apples, grapes, bananas, plums, peaches. When we were on vacation we hit the deli for some fruits and cheeses and had them in our hotel room. The kids were digging it so now our fridge is stocked up!
I also keep those Special K bars in my purse just in case and I try to keep OJ around in case I get shaky. I still drink water with lime, and tons of it. I also have iced tea, unsweetened of course. We went to a movie this past weekend and I had a few drinks of a diet coke. Honestly, there was not a single side effect, but I've really lost the taste for soda. It's just sort of icky to me. Yea! I don't even drink juice, except for OJ.
I've been taking those vitamins from GNC and my hair isn't falling out as much. Also, my hair looks better than it has in years right now. It's very soft, and bouncy. It had looked so bad for so long. I don't think I'm getting enough protein in my diet, and I do think that my weight loss could be more substantial if I balanced my meals better and added that protein. I'm sort of sustaining on fruit and carbs. Not so good.
Emotionally, all is well. I've had no regrets whatsoever about the band. I look forward to more weight loss, and feeling better and better every day.
I went to lunch today at Red Lobster. I had about half of my salad, and then I had six pretty small shrimp scampi's and six pretty small breaded shrimps and a baked potato. By small, I mean about 2/3 the size of your pinky. So it wasn't as if there was a ton of food there. But when you consider that I struggle with half of a burger, it was like gorging myself at a seafood festival. I didn't drink anything at all, (I have made that mistake in the past just because I was dying of thirst and it pretty much came right back up)but as I sat there, full as a tick, I had a feeling. I held my napkin in front of me, but then I knew that it was going to get ugly. Do not read further if you are weak stomached.
I went to the bathroom and the saliva was pouring. Then it was pretty much a free for all. It didn't hurt at all, but it wasn't fun. It was all my fault, and I wanted to kick my own butt, but that's pretty much impossible. I waited too long to eat, I was really hungry and I ate too fast, and too much.
I'm losing weight, I think I'm at about 35 lbs but to be honest the inches are just really coming off. I have to remember to eat, or else I don't lose at all. One day I think I had a banana and some oatmeal all day and I actually gained 2 lbs. It's weird. I'm weird. The whole thing is weird.
Things that are a problem for me: bread of any kind, tortillas, some pastas, french fries (THANK GOODNESS), cake is definitely a no go. Even birthday cake. It sticks like spackle. Brownies, cookies, etc.
Things that I wish were a problem because they go down waaaay to easily: movie popcorn, cheetos, my beloved chocolate. I just like plain old Hershey chocolate, and I sort of just suck on it until it melts away. Ice cream, which I've never been a big fan of. But once you've had a taste of chocolate mojito, there's no going back.
Things that I tend to eat regularly: bananas, oatmeal, cream of wheat, cottage cheese, cheese with turkey on very thin veggie crackers, soup (my beloved tomato soup), rice, chicken that has been cooked in the crockpot (it makes it so tender and easy to eat), some pastas, if they are cooked the right way. I also have mashed or baked potatos, beans, shrimp, salad. Nothing that is considered "roughage" bothers me at all. I love any and all veggies. I crave fruit. I love fruit. I'll have thinly sliced cheese and apples, grapes, bananas, plums, peaches. When we were on vacation we hit the deli for some fruits and cheeses and had them in our hotel room. The kids were digging it so now our fridge is stocked up!
I also keep those Special K bars in my purse just in case and I try to keep OJ around in case I get shaky. I still drink water with lime, and tons of it. I also have iced tea, unsweetened of course. We went to a movie this past weekend and I had a few drinks of a diet coke. Honestly, there was not a single side effect, but I've really lost the taste for soda. It's just sort of icky to me. Yea! I don't even drink juice, except for OJ.
I've been taking those vitamins from GNC and my hair isn't falling out as much. Also, my hair looks better than it has in years right now. It's very soft, and bouncy. It had looked so bad for so long. I don't think I'm getting enough protein in my diet, and I do think that my weight loss could be more substantial if I balanced my meals better and added that protein. I'm sort of sustaining on fruit and carbs. Not so good.
Emotionally, all is well. I've had no regrets whatsoever about the band. I look forward to more weight loss, and feeling better and better every day.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Supplements
I went to GNC yesterday and got a stronger daily vitamin and some Biotin. It might not work with the hair thing, but it can't hurt. My hair really only seems to come out when I shower. And it actually seems to look better, more shiny and bouncy. I sort of think my image of the amount of hair coming out is like my image of the rat I once saw in my garage. That rat looked to be the size of a St. Bernard puppy when it ran from me. When it was dead it was about 1/4 that size. My husband said it's not much more than I usually shed.
I fully admit to not eating enough, but I eat what I can. Yesterday I had some grits for breakfast and then some soup and crackers for lunch. I had to go and take an exam, and then I stopped at Target to see if they had any portable DVD players for our trip next week. About halfway through my time there, I started to get weak, sweaty, dizzy. I went and got some protein bars and got out of there. I honestly thought I might not make it to the car. I sat in the car and ate one of the bars, and drank some water. I finally got some strength and was able to get home. I guess my blood sugar was down. I didn't eat anything for dinner, but I wasn't hungry.
So I just have to remind myself to eat something every few hours if I'm not going to be able to eat meals. I run around a lot, so it's not uncommon for me to just forget to eat, especially when I don't get hungry!
I fully admit to not eating enough, but I eat what I can. Yesterday I had some grits for breakfast and then some soup and crackers for lunch. I had to go and take an exam, and then I stopped at Target to see if they had any portable DVD players for our trip next week. About halfway through my time there, I started to get weak, sweaty, dizzy. I went and got some protein bars and got out of there. I honestly thought I might not make it to the car. I sat in the car and ate one of the bars, and drank some water. I finally got some strength and was able to get home. I guess my blood sugar was down. I didn't eat anything for dinner, but I wasn't hungry.
So I just have to remind myself to eat something every few hours if I'm not going to be able to eat meals. I run around a lot, so it's not uncommon for me to just forget to eat, especially when I don't get hungry!
Monday, March 9, 2009
My hair!
OK, so I knew it could happen. But today when I took a shower, and washed my hair, and pulled out handfulls I was still a little bit thrown. Right now it looks like someone shaved a bear in my bathtub. Fortunately I have a ton of hair, and once I dried it, it's not falling out. I'm rushing to GNC to get some biotin and some protein supplements.
I am losing weight. However, I'm barely eating. It's hard for me to believe that I'm full after a spoonful of mashed potatos and about an oz of roast. Forget bread, that ain't happenin'. I can tell you that the pain is excrutiating if the food gets stuck, and it is absolutely essential that I take the tiniest of bites and chew them until the food just disappears before I can swallow it.
Last week I went to the doctor because my back is out. I had gone about 10 days earlier and in that time I had lost 6lbs. I got a shot of cortisol and some other meds and that night I thought I was going to die. I can't remember what I ate, but it was something that didn't agree with me. I threw up, but then I had the worst pain you can imagine. I'm pretty sure it was gas, but I can't imagine something as simple as gas can cause that much pain! My poor husband was patting me on the back, and burping me! Excuse my frankness, but I was blowing it out both ends. This is not something I would normally do around my husband, and I think he was just happy to know I'm capable of it.
I needed to walk around, but my back was out and I was put on bedrest, so I was torn between staying in bed and walking around. Eventually the gas pain won over the back pain and I walked my back yard. Finally, I took the pain meds that the doctor gave me, and I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. I was sore as heck the next day, and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I've had a couple of instances this past week where things got stuck. I went on fluids and soup for a couple of days in order to let my tummy settle down.
I would say that the band is too tight, but I'm pretty sure that it's simply me not following directions like I should. Old habits are hard to break I suppose. But I'm working on it.
I am losing weight. However, I'm barely eating. It's hard for me to believe that I'm full after a spoonful of mashed potatos and about an oz of roast. Forget bread, that ain't happenin'. I can tell you that the pain is excrutiating if the food gets stuck, and it is absolutely essential that I take the tiniest of bites and chew them until the food just disappears before I can swallow it.
Last week I went to the doctor because my back is out. I had gone about 10 days earlier and in that time I had lost 6lbs. I got a shot of cortisol and some other meds and that night I thought I was going to die. I can't remember what I ate, but it was something that didn't agree with me. I threw up, but then I had the worst pain you can imagine. I'm pretty sure it was gas, but I can't imagine something as simple as gas can cause that much pain! My poor husband was patting me on the back, and burping me! Excuse my frankness, but I was blowing it out both ends. This is not something I would normally do around my husband, and I think he was just happy to know I'm capable of it.
I needed to walk around, but my back was out and I was put on bedrest, so I was torn between staying in bed and walking around. Eventually the gas pain won over the back pain and I walked my back yard. Finally, I took the pain meds that the doctor gave me, and I finally passed out from sheer exhaustion. I was sore as heck the next day, and felt like I had been hit by a truck. I've had a couple of instances this past week where things got stuck. I went on fluids and soup for a couple of days in order to let my tummy settle down.
I would say that the band is too tight, but I'm pretty sure that it's simply me not following directions like I should. Old habits are hard to break I suppose. But I'm working on it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)